Gunpoint
by Mensis Eclipse
Summary: After a near death experience, Logan goes into post traumatic shock and wont talk or move. It's soon up to the rest of the band, and any other help they could find to snap him out of it before they loose him forever.
1. Gunpoint

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **Hello everybody, I am a brand new writer to this archive, and when I say new, I mean it. I haven't even read many other BTR fan fictions, which is something I like to do before starting a new archive, but I hope this will be good just as so, if anything maybe it will be a fresh look on the characters. If there's any questions this story is based on the show not the actual band. I make no promises for quick updates, but i have completed all my stories so far, in other words keep faith. So without further a due...the disclaimer.

**DISCLAIMER- **I do not own Big Time Rush, he show or the band, the latter would be just creepy.

* * *

Logan had never been mugged before.

In Minnesota the biggest crime he'd ever witnessed was when a man dressed in all black snatched an elderly woman's purse and made a break for it down the street. He didn't even make it a block before the police apprehended him and gave the woman her purse back. It was short and a real embarrassment to the thief, especially after it was revealed that he was only a minor performing a dare. The story was the front page of the paper for three weeks.

Since then he never had much of a fear for criminals or mysterious men in black clothing, until now.

The man's hand like iron, stuffed its way deep into Logan's mouth, silencing any hope of a startled scream. His other hand gripped Logan's wrists together so tightly that it blocked of blood flow.

All of the freedom Logan was so obliviously taking advantage of was snatched from him so suddenly, and there was a chance he'd never get it back. It was the shock, that was the worst of it. Just minutes before everything was so normal, as he was just walking home.

* * *

It was quiet, that is for a street in Hollywood California at 10 pm on a Thursday night, and deserted. It was also dark. Logan could barely make out his hand in front of him as he walked down 3rd street that night.

It was a poverty stricken neighborhood, and one could tell by the dim and flickering streetlights that came every couple of blocks. Really the only light Logan got was from occasional headlights emitting from a car that was oblivious to the 30mph speed limit. And quite frankly that was the only part Logan didn't like.

This walk had proposed a special treat to him, solitude. And when one was stuck living with their four best friends, and one of their mom and sister, it was not the thing to pass up. Especially to Logan, who happened to enjoy it much more then any of his friends. Not that he minded living with them, but he had to miss out on personal time, which he used to gather up his massive thoughts about everyday life. He was called the 'smart' one of the group, but really he was only the one who thought the most.

And that was what he had just happened to be thinking when a siren of a cellphone ringing vibrated through his skull and derailed his train of thought. Logan groaned softly, he wasn't ready to come out of his own world just yet. He reached down into his pocket for his phone, and was nearly blinded by the light it emitted.

He couldn't be less surprised to see that the caller was Kendall. He was like the mother of the group when mama Knight wasn't actually there to mother him. He griped the phone. He knew what he wanted, to yell at him for being late for dinner, but Logan really wasn't in the mood to get scolded.

He almost let the phone go to voice-mail but then his conscience got the better of him and he accepted the call. It was a fact almost everyone knew about Logan, he didn't have the heart to ignore a phone call, especially from a friend.

"Hey Kendall." he answered.

"Where are you? Carlos is about to eat all of your fish sticks!" Kendall cried from the other line.

Logan rolled his eyes, they decided to move 'fish stick Friday' to Thursday since BTR had a gig the following night.

"I'm almost there, just two blocks away from the Palm Woods." he lied, he was actually about ten.

"Ok, well hurry, I can't keep Carlos off your dinner for long!" were Kendall's departing words.

* * *

It was Gustavo's fault he was late anyways. It has been an ordinary harmony rehearsal and as usual Gustavo hated just about everything Logan did. When they first met, Logan couldn't sing or dance, and the impression had stuck. At times he couldn't help but take his criticisms personally. Especially when he was forced to work on a song for two hours more then his fellow band mates.

That was the other thing running through his mind, that and the notes that had been hammered into his brain, as he paused upon Gulliver's alley.

It was a dark narrow path that looked as though it went on to infinite darkness. There was hardly any light, even in the day, due to the heaping piles of wreckage, that used to pass as buildings, that towered on both sides shading whatever light dared to get by. However whatever light did manage to penetrate through was used to make out masses of filth and surrounding dumpsters that the city long forgot about.

It was called Gulliver's alley because the two buildings adjacent to it used to belong to a man named Gulliver. An innovator with a strange quirk for incineration. One was for burning garbage, the other for large carcasses of animals, to big or worthless to be deposed of otherwise. The business didn't last long and soon the city petitioned the buildings to be shut down due to the massive and careless releasing of pollution. Now all that remained of Gulliver's legacy was the alley between his two projects.

That same place the guys had dubbed the creepiest place in Hollywood, well besides Gustavo's secret room of mementos from his glory days, but it was defiantly a close second.

Logan had never ventured through the alley alone,although it did cut off nine blocks from the Palm Woods to Rock Records, which was why he and the guys usually took it when they were running late. And he was running late.

So without a second thought he turned into the alley and quickly scampered down through its dark path. In their small town in Minnesota he took paths like this all the time at any time of the day. Since it was such a small town the alley almost resembled most of the its streets.

The sudden noise from the dark walls made him jump and pause. It sounded like a foot scarping the floor.

And then he was grabbed.

* * *

Out of the darkness the iron arms imprisoned him so quickly he couldn't even react. They pulled him aside as if he were a rag doll. And he minus well had been, his terror so intense that it froze everything.

People usually think in the face of fatal danger instinct kicks in and the body throws all it can into survival, but they would be wrong. Logan was stiff. His blood stopped in place, his limbs fell numb, his eyes wee fixed on the darkness ahead, and he couldn't even feel his heart.

The man stopped dragging him and shoved him hard on the back. He fell instantly to the hard, cold floor where he lay, still as death.

Blank, null seconds dripped by before the man gripped him by the neck of his shirt and pulled him to his knees.

And then a cold, smooth metal pressed onto his neck which Logan immediately knew was a gun. The man pressed it so hard onto him, Logan could feel it leaving an impression.

A deep, cold voice came from above him. It was to far away to be the man who was holding him's voice. It was new.

"Give us your money kid." it demanded.

Logan half expected the voice to come from a demonic beast, with big claws and teeth dripping with blood. Instead when he forced his head up it was just a man, who he could barely make out, but was not much bigger then himself. He was skinny, almost short, not the big hulking monster one would expect a mugger to be. However this made him even more terrified.

"I said give us your money!" he cried.

But Logan couldn't move. even though his life depended on it, his brain and nerves would not connect, not like either one was working anyway.

The other man pressed the gun even harder on his neck, probably bruising it. With one twitch of the finger, he could bring an end to Logan. All that he was, all that he could be, he could end right there. He could put him in the ground, stop his breathing, end his life, forever. Right now the maniac had the power of God to Logan. He had complete control of his fate, future, and soul. One click and he'd end up in eternal, what? Where do people go where they die? Heaven? Hell? Nowhere? One bullet through his brain, is that it? Will his mind and soul rot along with the rest of his body. All that he was up to this point didn't matter. From the baby his mother nursed, to the singer he became today, all of it would die. He wouldn't only kill Logan, but the sixteen years that became Logan, and all the years afterwords.

"Check his pockets." the other ordered.

The other did as told. He jammed his hand down Logan's pockets pressing him into the concrete as he did so. Logan squinted his eyes shut which seemed to reignite a body function, tears. They ran down his numb face slow but plentiful. The man continued to dig into Logan's pockets pressing his body so hard that he finally won a groan for him.

The man then gripped a $20 and pulled it out and handed it to his boss.

Logan looked helplessly at the money, was that mere piece of paper worth his whole life?

"That it? the boss asked.

The other man nodded.

The boss turned around to examine his prize, and for a second Logan thought he'd walk away.

Then he stopped, for a moment, and without looking back muttered, "Kill him."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** Have to say this is most suspenseful beginning I have done in a long time, the rest of the story will go down a different path, but you'll want to read it just as much, I hope. Now if you have any comments, compliments, flames or constructive criticisms please dispense them by pressing the review button and I hoped you've enjoyed!


	2. No answer

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **Hello again guys! For this chapter I had a choice to make, grammar perfection or time of updates, and I choose the former. I felt bad for waiting nearly a week to update, especially with a cliffhanger, so please excuse my minor spelling errors and I promise not to get lazy with that in the future. (Or at least I'll try not to) Well thanks to all of you who reviewed last tie, you're the reason I sit at this computer for hours and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Those two words nearly made him drop dead right there.

His heart which was previously numb had jump started into an insane beating that it had never before had to perform. As if his body were a car, his heart was trying to floor it to make it move, but nothing happened. Still with Logan's body going into hyper drive he could not make himself move.

The man nodded and took aim with his gun.

All Logan could do was look. Look at that shiny metal gadget with one hole that lead to darkness. He couldn't decide if he wanted to see his death coming, or look away and pray for it all to be over. Since he couldn't do the previous, he stared at the gun, the last sight he'd ever see.

It was mere seconds that this all took place, but those stretched out into years for Logan. Agonizing years and for he first time inn his life, he prayed for death.

Not that he wanted to die at such a young age, but he'd rather be _anywhere_ then here. He was sick of not knowing, his ribs started hurting with all the pressure of his pounding heart. His body was being to dehydrate thanks to water loss in sweat and tears.

The man moved his fingers to trigger the gun and Logan lost breath he didn't know he had in a gasp. The gun clicked, but didn't fire.

* * *

A deer caught in the headlights of a car, that's what he looked like. Wide eyed and breathless. His whole body was impacting itself for death, and his head was all but ready to call it.

"Whats the matter?" the boss cried.

The man tried to trigger the gun a couple more times before he finally sighed and checked the machine.

"Out of bullets." he said sheepishly and fished some out of his pockets.

The boss rolled his eyes and looked ahead, "Idiot, would you hurry up."

The other was obviously new at this. If Logan had any room to rationally think in his terror, he know that the man was shaking just as badly as he was himself. He was also stumbling terribly trying to put the fresh bullets in the gun.

It was a stroke of pure dumb luck, or an incredibly generous chance given by faith. Whatever caused it, this opportunity was one in a million, and any living thing with a working brain would have taken the chance and bolted out of there just then. Even if they were to be shot a little later in the following pursuit, they would have died with a fight, they would have made their death a little more worthy.

But that wasn't Logan. Every inch of his body screamed to him to jump up and run, but he couldn't. He could actually feel himself suppressing the survival instinct within to give into his terror. He had no logical reason to do this. The logical thing, no the obvious thing was to at least scream, to do something to save yourself.

No Logan just remained still, a sitting duck. All that came out of him were more terrified tears.

The man finally finished reloading and was once again ready to take aim at Logan when police sirens wailed through the night. Like knights in shining armor the sirens penetrated the hellish quiet and gave a reality check to all in the alley.

"Shit! Dam cops!" cried the boss.

The other man gasped and quickly turned to Logan to finally finish him off.

"Don't piss face!" the boss hissed, "They'll hear it and come after us like dogs, just knock him out and hide him somewhere, quietly." he ordered then started to scram himself.

Logan, who once again found the ability to move, watched the man run out of the alley and attempt to make his way to freedom. He was oblivious to the other who smashed the edge of the gun to his head. Everything went dark as he fell to the floor.

* * *

Carlos licked his the dripping grease off of his fingers with sweet satisfaction as a more then happy smile spread across his face.

"Well that was the best fish stick Thursday we've ever had." he announced jovially.

James lifted an eyebrow, "Um Carlos this is the only fish stick Thursday we've ever had."

"I know" Carlos said with a burp, "I think it had to do with Logan's fish sticks tasting ten times better then mine!"

Kendall rolled his eyes, "You couldn't have at least saved one for the poor guy one?" he asked jokingly.

"Hey he knows how much I love fish sticks! Its his fault for being late!"

Kendall couldn't suppress the small frown that resulted from Logan's uncharacteristic tardiness.

"Well you should at least buy him another dinner."

"No problem," Carlos said leaning back from his chair "I know a great place that stays open all night and has the best corn dogs!" he said somehow making himself hungry,_ again._

"Lucky Logan," Katie said rolling her eyes.

It was just the kids that night. Mrs. Knight had to leave to go see an old friend in San Diego, she wasn't coming home until at least the next morning, and naturally Kendall was left in charge.

However he sometimes took that position too seriously, he knew and his friends knew it. He just hated the feeling of responsibility if something went wrong under his care, and Logan's tardiness was really starting to twitch his skin.

However for the past hour and a half since he'd last called Logan, he surpressed his concerns in order not to be called an overbearing hockey mom, as the guys usually did. But it was now approaching two hours, and nothing from Logan, and his concern was starting to catch up with his ego.

"Well I say we go out and find him so that Carlos can buy us all corn dogs." he suggested, when really he couldn't eat another bite, he just needed an excuse.

Carlos nodded clueless, then put two and two together and glared at Kendall, "Hey! Why do I have to buy everyone corn dogs? he whined.

"Cause you volunteered!" James laughed and sped out the door with an annoyed Carlos right behind him.

Kendall let out a silent sigh and turned to Katie, "We'll be back in just a minute," he said, "Be good." and run after his friends.

"Don't hurry back!" Katie cried after him.

* * *

"Do you guys think we could go to the store after we get Logan?" James asked as the exited Palm Woods property and onto the midnight streets of Hollywood.

"What do you need to get at the store?" Carlos asked.

"Polish yogurt." James answered proudly.

Carlos gave him a perplexed face.

"I read in Beautiful Men's Monthly that it rejuvenates your skin and keeps you looking young for years." he bragged, "All you have to do is rub it on your face with this rare pepper..."

"Okay dude even I know that's a scam." Carlos said matter-of-factly.

James scoffed, "Hey its from a very reliable source, Kendall could tell you. Hey Kendall!"

He looked forward and noticed that Kendall was already a block ahead of them, "Hey dude wait up!" he cried as he and Carlos ran to catch up.

Kendall had almost completely forgot about them and he was really starting to panic. Logan had said he was two locks away from the Palm Woods, two hours ago. They had walked six blocks and there was still no sign of him.

He whipped out his phone to call him for the tenth time only to again receive no answer.

"Yo Kendall! Whats the rush?" Carlos cried panting as he finally caught up.

"He's not answering his phone!" Kendall groaned in frustration.

"Relax dude, the battery could be dead or something." James said rolling his eyes at Kendall's mother bear behavior.

Kendall no longer cared what they thought of his attitude, "James the phone's ringing and there's just no answer! And he said he was near the Palm Woods two hours ago!"

James shrugged, "He probably meant Gulliver's alley," he suggested.

Kendall snapped his fingers and took off in that direction with James and Carlos reluctantly behind.

* * *

Kendall reached Gulliver's in record time and finally slowed down to creep in there. That place usually freaked him out.

It was completely black and even the light from his phone seemed to dim at the overwhelming darkness, which was why he nearly tripped on something on the floor.

He quickly caught himself and shined his phone on the object, then dropped it with a yelp. It was a gun.

"Kendall!" Carlos and James cried from the street and followed him in there.

"Is something wrong?" Carlos asked as he approached Kendall.

Kendall gestured to the gun causing a small yelp from the others.

"Wh-who does that belong to?" Carlos asked nervously, "Are we safe?"

Kendall knelled down to inspect it closer. It was dented and had some sort of liquid on it. Kendall reached out to touch it and withdrew immediately once he did.

"Gu-guys its covered in blood." he said in a scared whimper.

Carlos and James paled and gave one another nervous looks.

"What do you think..." Carlos started, but was interrupted by Kendall dialing his phone.

He wasn't really sure what made him call Logan at that point. It was like something was screaming at him to do it. Or the alley itself was gesturing to his phone.

He was dead silent while listening to the phone dial.

"Kendall why..." James started.

"Shhh!" Kendall demanded.

They all stood still, quiet and confused, until they heard a soft ringing.

Kendall lowered the phone from his ear and looked around slowly. The other mimicked the motion and quietly searched the dark walls for the noise.

Kendall stepped to the left and heard the ringing get louder and more defined.

"Guys over here!" he motioned.

The others came to join him as he flashed the small cell phone light at the source of the ringing, the dumpster.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **Well I hope that was worth the wait! Now we can really get into the real story. As always please review, and feel free to trash my spelling/grammar if you feel like I deserve it, and I'll be working towards a speedy update!


	3. Look who's not talking

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **Hello everyone! Please scroll down if you are not interested in the obnoxiously long author's note. And for those of you still are, I would like to apologize for the utter crap the last chapter was, yea I know what you're thinking, I'm one of those guys with extremely low self esteem and will go on and rant about it, well you're only half right. I really didn't feel like I captured the true characters in the last chapter, which was a consequence of rushing into this archive without researching first. And no, I don't think this story is a helpless case. In fact with reading some of the selections the achieve has to offer, which so far have been really good, I think I've gotten a better understanding of where I want these characters to be. You see I never think the characters portrayed in fanfiction are ever truly matched with the ones n the respective show, rather they are more exaggerated versions of what we would like to see them as, and that's really why we write in the first place. So since I started out this story trying to keep it fresh I've decided to find a happy in between with the fanfiction characters vs the true ones, and that may take some trial and error. In other words sorry if the characters seem to be unbalanced, but rest assured once I find a tone I like, it'll stay. So I'm sorry if this note bored/ confused you, but hey I did give warning, and please enjoy the next chapter, which is my opinion is much better then the last.

* * *

The three boys stood still staring at the source of the ringing, all with a different look on their face. Kendall with utter terror whose mind had immediately jumped the worse case scenario. James with helpless confusion, and then Carlos with oblivious innocence.

Carlos reacted first.

"Maybe he just threw away his phone." he said cheerfully.

He knelled down to pick up his friends phone then headed up to the dumpster, which was a few feet taller then his head. Carlos managed to jump and grab hold of the edge and used his feet to climb up to get a good peek of what was inside. Kendall and James still frozen as he did this. Once Carlos managed to pull his face over to get a look, he screamed, lost balance and fell right on his back to the floor.

"Carlos!" James cried, snapping out of his trance and running over to help his friend.

But as soon as he reached him, Carlos was on his hands and knees scrambling away as fast as he could. He was ghost white and shaking. James knelled down and tried to put his hands on his shoulders to steady him, but his body ended up shaking as well.

"Whats the matter buddy?" he asked soothing as he could.

Kendall didn't wait for a response, in a single leap he grabbed hold of the edge of the dumpster and looked inside, and nearly repeated what Carlos had done. But at the last effort he caught himself and cried, "Logan!"

* * *

The dumpster was half full of garbage, mostly consisting of dead, rotted palm tree remains and other deteriorating waste. However sprawled across it was Logan. He was past out and motionless, it was to dark to see if he was breathing. However the blood trickling down the back of his head was visible in the blackest of night for Kendall.

Kendall's heart jumped from his chest to his mouth, pounding like crazy. His breathing got short and he started shaking like a leaf. However with his whole body vibrating, his mouth desert dry, and his stomach churning, he climbed in the dumpster and slowly made his way towards Logan.

"Logan?" he whimpered, so softly he could barely hear himself.

Taking a deep breath he dared to try again, "Logan?" he wheezed, not much louder.

Now he was almost on the verge of tears. He'd never seen a dead body before, not like this. He didn't want his first one to be his best friend. But looking at the corpse, he hardly remebered that it was Logan. Right now it looked like a real life prop from a horror movie. He didn't want to touch it, he'd rather touch roadkill on the side of the freeway.

Kendall gulped, he just thought of his friend as _it_.

When he was less then two feet away from Logan, he paused. It reeked in there, probably due to the fact taht it was an abandoned dumpster, but in Kendall's horror stricken mind it was the smell of Logan's decay.

Kendall shook his head, _no, you don't know that yet_, he told himself._ You have to check._

Kendall looked towards Logan with dread, he had to check for a pulse. Checking to see if someone was alive or dead was never on his bucket list, especially a friend.

_ I don't even know how!_ he cried to himself in agony. Suddenly all those health classes spent passing notes to Carlos became vital. Who ever could of predicted that reading a pulse would actually come in use someday when you're trying to determine if your best friend's even alive!

Kendall mustered the courage to take out his phone and shine its faint light over Logan, then he saw it. The slight up and downwards motion of the chest. He sighed in heavy relief, he was no doctor but he knew that it meant his friend was alive.

"Ja-James!" he cried, forcing himself to be the responsible leader if he couldn't be the doctor.

"Kendall?" James called up, still comforting Carlos, "Whats up there?"

"It's Logan, you have to call 911!"

"What!?" he cried, "Is he alright?"

"I-I don't know," Kendall responded, deciding not to lie, "So hurry!"

Then Carlos shook James off of him and scrambled up the dumpster to join Kendall and Logan. He took a deep breath at the sight, just as horrible the second time and crouched beside Logan.

"Logan?" he asked gently, "Hey buddy are you alright?"

He tenderly shook his body.

"Carlos stop it!" Kendall hissed, "You may make it worse."

Carlos froze as Logan emitted a low, pained moan.

"Logan!" he cried.

Frustrated and scared Kendall turned his head to screech, "James!"

* * *

Katie impatiently drummed her four fingers rhythmically on the smooth, cool wooden desk, over and over again. Her eyes were fixed on the door to the Palm Woods lobby, which was otherwise empty. Her foot eventually got into the swing of things and starting thumping as well. She leaned against her elbow with a frustrated sigh and bit her lip.

"What are you doing here?" the sour question snapped her out of her trance and nearly made her jump two feet.

She swooped around to see a scowling Bitters, arms folder, and foot also tapping in anger.

Before she had time to respond her continued, "Whatever just stay out of my way until I finish my inspection."

"Inspection? Of what?" she asked.

Bitters glared at her again, "the whole Palm Woods complex, the corporation wants a full inspection of each of its apartments once every ten years."

"Then shouldn't an agent of the corporation be doing it?" she asked.

"Should an agent blah!" he mocked, "I'm going to be doing the inspection myself because its easier, cheaper, and most importantly will get me a raise!" he said with a cocky smile, "I even made up a fake worker for the corporation, Bruno Ginger." he bragged and flashed her a fake ID.

Katie rolled her eyes, she didn't have time for this, and turned her back on him.

"Hey!" he snapped as she turned her back, "If you're just gonna ignore me then beat it!"

Katie turned to face him with flaming eyes, "My brother and his friends left me three hours ago to go find Logan!" she cried, "I called and texted but they didn't respond, and now I'm gonna kill him for ditching me!"

Despite her attempts to hide it in annoyance, her face flared with with concern, Kendall's never done anything like this before.

"Well guess what, I don't care!" Bitters snapped. "Probably just out playing hockey somewhere!"

Katie was about to respond with something just as rude when she heard the ambulances.

* * *

The first thing he felt was a raw throbbing in the back of his head. Then a general wave of pain throughout his body that seemed to reanimate him. But that didn't make any sense, he was supposed to be dead, there wasn't supposed to be any pain in death.

But the pain persisted throughout his body making sure to confirm to him that it was real.

And then he heard voices, other dead people perhaps? Well they were probably voices, but Logan could only interpret them as murmurs and grunts. The latter more prominent than the former.

Then there was a faint pressure on his shoulder, like a hand touching him. Of course that was impossible as well, or it should have been. The pressure then tightened into a grip and he knew someone was holding him, but how?

His eyes involuntarily opened and all five senses were numbed and discombobulated as if they were underwater. He blinked his eyes a couple so the blurry picture before him adjusted itself to a clear image.

Mrs. Knight was talking to three cops in their apartment's kitchen. Two were males one being short and stout, another tall and sturdy. The last, a woman, was older on her way to retirement, but still fit enough not to be messed with.

They were the grunts, and Mrs. Knight the murmurs.

"We need to talk to your son ma'am," the tall officer said.

"He's not mine." Mrs. Knight said softly to the floor.

"Where are his parents?" asked the woman.

"Minnesota."

"Have you contacted them?"

Mrs. Knight took a deep breath, "Not yet,"

The short officer turned to notice Logan, "Hey the kid woke up."

They headed over to him when Mrs. Knight stopped them, "Wait, he must be terrified and confused!" she persisted.

Mrs. Knight, though all the boys temporary mother, never really got to nurture them in all of her time caring for them. She never bandaged their wounds, uplifted their spirits, or calmed their fears and that was mostly because they never needed it, until now. And she did her best to rise to the occasion.

"Logan, sweetheart." she said soothingly, "How are you feeling."

Logan was fixed, eyes, mouth, everything. The numbness that froze his body hadn't ceased, if anything it was stronger. He still wasn't convinced he was alive.

Mrs. Knight frowned out his silence, he didn't even look at her.

She shook him gently, "Are you okay?" she asked.

Nothing, he was as still as a statue.

She tried to continue to work on him when the tall cop shoved her out of the way, "Kid we need to ask you some questions and we don't have all day." he said sternly, but still getting the same result.

He clenched his fists, "I am losing my patience." he threatened.

"Hey lay off him!" Kendall cried from the back of the room and walked over to face the cop, "You don't know what he's been through!"

The cop scowled, "No I don't, and I'd like to find out and stop wasting my time!"

"That's enough Hernandez!" the woman snapped with a voice that could shut anyone up, even a wound up cop.

She looked at Kendall with a hint of sympathy, "We may have an idea who did this to your friend, two muggers who are the sons of an old inmate down by the jail," she said, "If there as bad as their father, we need their locations pronto so we can apprehend them before they hurt anyone else." she stated.

Kendall turned to Logan, "Logan?" he asked nervously.

Nothing.

Kendall sighed, "I'm sorry but he's not talking, and I can't make him, and we can't have you here stressing him out, so if you would kindly." he said gesturing towards the door.

The tall cop burst, "Hey! We don't take orders from kids!"

The woman held her hand up, "We understand," she said handing him a card, "Call this number when he's ready to talk.

With that she lead the other two reluctant cops out of the apartment.

Katie turned to Kendall, "Good job." she said with an impressed tone.

Kendall didn't respond, his eyes were fixed on a still motionless Logan.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **Look at me, I have more to say! Well my true test of character (ha ha ha) will be coming up in these next few chapters, so stay tuned I suppose and please review to let me know what you think!


	4. PTSD

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **I have mixed feelings about this chapter, and it may be here where the story gets confusing. But don't worry all is to explained in time, and in the meanwhile feel free to pm or leaving a review with any questions regarding the story. I'll answer you to the bet of my ability without ruining too much.

* * *

James trailed the three cops out the door and happily slammed the door behind them. He whirled around to where Logan was sitting and smirked with satisfaction, "Good job handling those cops Logan, who wants investigators breathing down your neck 24/7?" he praised.

Kendall whose eyes were still suck on their motionless pal frowned deeper at his silence.

"Logan hello? Anyone there?" James asked walking over to him and waving his hand in front of his face.

James narrowed his eyes as Logan continue his silence, "Hey don't ignore me!" he cried.

"Maybe hes just hungry!" Carlos interrupted getting in the middle of the two before James got even more upset, he looked towrds Logan and smiled "I'll make your favorite for lunch, toast!" he exclaimed.

"Toast?" James grimaced, "For lunch?"

Carlos ignored him and immediately set to work making the meal, completely convinced it would snap Logan out of what ever he was going through right now.

Kendall whose eyes were carefully studying Logan the whole time shifted to his mother's, whose face seemed to reflect his own concern. _ This may be a problem that even toast can't fix,_ he thought to himself.

He couldn't help but think back to last night. When the paramedics had come, they had only needed to treat the head injury. They diagnosed Logan with a severe concussion, but nothing more. It wasn't even serious enough for a night at the hospital, which had been a relief to the guys.

The gauze around Logan's head now was faintly red from the last seeps of blood that managed to flow through the stitches. They should be able to take it off of him tomorrow, but somehow the situation itself didn't seem like it would be so easy a fix.

* * *

It was as if he were surrounded by an impenetrable, however see through wall, as if made from the hardest of glass. He could witness everything that was going on outside of the glass walls but was unable to react with it. Not like Logan really wanted yo anyway.

Ever since he woke up, Logan had focused on blocking himself from the outside world with a fortress of fear and dread. He was supposed to be dead, he felt dead, so what was this trail he was going through.

He hardly bought those figures outside the glass walls were really his friends, he hardly bought he was in the real world at all. Maybe if he just stayed in his glass dome they would all go away and finally let him die in peace.

However impenetrable the glass walls were to the present, they did nothing to protect Logan from the past. He could still feel the gun pressed up against his neck, silencing any desire to talk.

_You've made yourself a real piece of work here, _came a voice that Logan could only recognize as his own.

_You're not welcome here_, Logan angrily replied.

_Now come on, is that anyway to treat yourself?_

_Who are you?_

_I'm you, from two days ago, the Logan that never got mugged._

_You're dead._

_Am I?_

Logan tried to block this new voice that had penetrated his solitude and peace but it was useless.

_So what's up with these walls? _Past Logan continued.

_They're supposed to keep you and everyone else out!_

_And hows that working out for you? So far me and the men with the guns have managed to get through here, in fact the only people you have kept out are those who are trying to help you!_

_No one wants to help me._

_What about those people outside of your walls, you know your friends?_

_They're not my friends, they don't even exist,I am dead, I don't know whats outside these walls, and I don't want to!_

The other softened his tone and nearly sounded concerned,_ Look, I know you're scared, but hiding in here won't help anything._

Logan stayed quiet.

_You can't block me out, or any of your fears either_, past Logan continued,_ all you can do is confront them._

His voice then vanished and for once Logan was left alone in his completely silent mind.

* * *

Kendall, James, Carlos, Mrs. Knight , and Katie all sat around Logan completely quiet. The studied him still siting motionless at the kitchen table. He hadn't even look at the fresh plate of toast that was laid out in front of him.

"Well this all looks delicious Carlos!" Jams exclaimed unable to take the quiet for too long.

Carlos put on a fake smile, "Why thank you James! What do you think Logan?" he asked, and got the same answer everyone was expecting.

That was it, she had enough. Mrs. Knight pulled out of her chair and stomped over to Logan.

Firmly she whirled him around and fixed her determined yet worried eyes into his lost ones.

"Logan, we need you to talk to us, especially if something is wrong!" she exclaimed, scared and desperately enough to get the concerns up of the whole table.

Logan didn't flinch.

"Mom" Kendall started softly.

"I'm calling doctor Hollywood." she stated and marched to the phone.

The table was once again left quiet for a couple of minutes until James decided to escape to his room. He was soon followed by Katie and Kendall leaving Carlos to clean up everyone's untouched meals.

* * *

A few hours later a symphony of knocks banged on the guys' door. As if someone was trying play drums rather then announce they were there.

Annoyed Kendall came and answered the door.

"Ahh Kendall!" Doctor Hollywood exclaimed, pushing him aside of he were his servant, "So nice to see you. I must say, I don't usually make house calls, but I figured since Logan is my honorary medical assistant, and since you guys have the medical expertise of a pack of savage wolverines, that I may be able to grant a few minutes of my very busy schedule to you simple...simpletons." he boasted.

He looked extra proud in is gleaming white coat and dark shade that masked his eyes.

Katie rolled her eyes and looked to her mother, "Maybe this wasn't such a smart idea."

Mrs. Knight ignored her and stepped forward, "Doctor, my sons found Logan unconscious in a dumpster last night and brought him home. The paramedics said all he had was a concussion, but he hasn't spoken or moved since he woke up."

Hollywood lowered his shades, a look of concern almost flashed through his face, "Oh man, is he okay?" he asked.

"We don't know! That's why we called you!" Kendall cried, quickly losing his patience.

"Right! And you did the right thing!" Hollywood said, snapping his fingers.

He took a seat next to Logan and fumbled through his medical kit. He then pulled out a Popsicle stick and turned to his patient, "Okay Logie boy, say ahhh."

Logan did no such thing and the others rolled their eyes.

Hollywood frowned and turned to the guys, "Something's wrong with him." he concluded.

"We know!" they cried in unison.

Kendall stepped forward, "Can you just tell us how to help him?"

Hollywood sighed an got to work on the routine medical check up. He got out his stethoscope and pressed it several times to the boy's chest. Peered inside his ears, flashed a light in his eyes and slightly pinched his skin. When he was finished he quietly started packing his things.

"Well?" James asked, voice edged with concern and impatience.

Hollywood paused and looked to them, rather embarrassed, "Well physically there's nothing wrong with him, his pulse is normal, head looks good and he's not paralyzed..."

"So why isn't he responding to us?" Mrs. Knight demanded.

Hollywood put his last tool in the case, "Well I'm no psychiatrist, but if I had to guess I'd say he's going through PTSD."

"Whats that?" Carlos asked.

"Post traumatic stress disorder, its a mental condition that people develop after suffering through a traumatic event. It usually happens to veterans or rape victims, its kind of like a mental shock to the incident. Usually people with PTSD just suffer with flashbacks of the incident, and the occasional break down, but Logan seems to have a particularly sever case..." his voice trailed during the last part.

A few silent seconds after Hollywood finished his diagnostic Kendall spoke up, "So how do we help him?"

"Well try making him feel like he's in safe place,the most important thing is for him to know that the incident's over and that its okay to move on." Hollywood answered, surprising even himself with confidence in his voice.

He headed towards the door and stopped just before he set his foot outside, "As Logan's closest friends here, he needs you now more then ever, after all you're probably the only ones who can help him."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **Was that too short? Oh well, its either gonna be lots of shirt chapters, or a couple long ones. And forgive me if Doctor Hollywood was a little OOC at the last part, for the life of me I couldn't make it work. Anyways review as always beloved readers, it means the world to me!


	5. Delayed Reaction

**AUTHOR"S NOTE- **And this is the part of the story where I attempt to write in the mind of a crazy person, sure hope I did okay!

* * *

If it had not been for the circumstances Logan would have been extremely uncomfortable.

But who wouldn't? With four sets of eyes staring hard at you for nearly an hour now.

Logan was back on the couch staring into space once more, with the guys and Katie all staring at him in the most suspicious and uncomfortable ways they could. Resorting to using Logan's awkwardness to snap him out of it had seemed like a pretty full proof plan when Katie had proposed, however he was proving once again to be pretty unbreakable.

Mrs. Knight came out of the kitchen rubbing her wrinkled hands on a worn towel. She looked at the newly dysfunctional group and sighed. She was pretty unsure about their plan when they had proposed it. And after 45 minutes it was getting ridiculous.

"Alright that's enough guys. Leave the poor guy alone and go to sleep." she ordered.

"But its only 9!" Carlos protested.

She glared at him, her face drained of its usual patience and immediately shut him up.

"Yea, maybe Logan's just tired and needs to sleep!" Kendall suggested, trying to be optimistic once again, "He'll probably be back to himself in the morning."

He didn't sound half as convincing as he intended, but after everything that happened Carlos and James showed little reluctance and went to bed.

Kendall approached Logan, "You're welcome back to the room anytime." he said, gesturing to the one the two of them shared. Logan didn't respond, he sighed, "Or you could just stay on the couch."

He then heard a creak from James and Carlos's room. He turned around to see Carlos shyly watching with a blanket in his hands. He quietly brushed by Kendall and draped the blanket over Logan, "Sleep well buddy, I hope you get better soon."

His usual jovial face, complete with a wide, eager smile, was replaced with one of deep concern. Faint lines of worry were already beginning to form where they should never have to. Kendall hated to see that look. Carlos wasn't himself if he wasn't joking around and enjoying life. However Kendall was expecting it, the helmet enthusiast always had the weakest heart when one of his friends was hurt in any way.

Kendall put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, wishing he could think of something, _anything_ to help him more. But nothing came to him. Carlos simply shook off his hand and sulkily walked to bed.

* * *

He felt the gun press harder and harder against his neck. As if the man pressing it against him was trying to push it through him rather then just merely shoot him. Sweat was running down his body in buckets. He felt slick and greasy, however the man still managed to keep that blood stopping death grip on his wrists. He was also pressing him down as hard as he possibly could, as if trying to melt Logan onto the concrete.

"Kill him." those words, they didn't come from a mere voice, they came from the walls, the sky, every where. They repeated over and over again, not just words but a fate.

"Kill him. Kill him. Kill him."

But this time the numbness that had claimed his body subsided and Logan was free.

"NO!" he screamed at the top of lungs.

Using all of his strength, combined with adrenaline, anger and fear he pulled against the man's grip. He screamed and twisted his body trying to get his wrists free. He tried to yank his arms out with everything he had, but the man wouldn't budge. The rest of his body fell into a crazy array of twists and struggles as if it was going to free his arms, or yank them off.

"Kill him, kill him!" the demand grew louder and more and more inevitable.

However Logan refused to give up, if he did it would be giving up forever.

With a scream of a dead man, he swirled his body around, nearly breaking his trapped arms and bit the wrists that were holding them. He clenched his jaw into the man's skin and immediately felt the taste of blood rush into his mouth. He didn't yield however and sunk in deeper and deeper.

The man screamed in pain and loosened his grip, only slightly but it was enough. Wit the strength of ten desperate men, he yanked his arms free and jolted. He was going to make a break for it. It was his only shots. He was beginning to build up speed for he fastest, most desperate sprint of his life, and just as the power used to escaping the man went into his legs, he felt something grab his shoulders and try to pull him down once again.

Arms, strong one, wrapped themselves around his neck and started to force him back. Back into the ordeal of death he had just barely escaped from. But instead of pressing the gun to his neck they seemed to want to choke him instead.

Logan stupidly released all of his available breath into a ragged scream. The arms forcing him down onto his knees. He was now soaked in tears and sweat, both of which he was releasing harder then ever before in his life.

He was so close, for a moment he thought he would escape this hell that had ruined him. But it was only for a moment, and now he could feel himself sinking back down to that place he so desperately tried to escape.

No, it was too close, the stakes were just too high for him to give up now. He released every human and logical sense he had and gave full control to the animal survival instinct that was bubbling deep inside of him. He was no loner himself, now he was just a living creature that wanted to stay that way, and would do anything to get what it wanted.

Screaming like a madman he dug his nails like talons into the arms that were holding him until he drew out blood. The arms released him, but that wasn't enough, Logan knew that wouldn't be enough.

He turned around to face the despicable creature that had once held him. It was too dark to see his face, all he could make out was a silhouette. The creature was shaking in its place. It attempted to communicate but Logan had no interest in hat it had to say.

Flight or fight, the two options now. But since the first obviously didn't work he had to rely on the second. Changing his fear into anger and adrenaline into desperation he launched himself at the creature in a gruesome tackle. The creature barely dodged him and he ended up ramming something, hard. A wall? It was too dark to tell. But Logan was too fired up, too angry to feel any pain. In a second's time he was on his feet desperately looking through the darkness for his enemy.

"Logan." a scared voice whimpered adjacent to him.

In less then a second Logan swung his fist with all of his strength and confidence at the direction of the voice and hit it, hard, merciless.

He then heard it scream in pain and fall to the floor. Logan pounced on it and began summoning his strength to take out all of his anger on it, finally show it what it was like to feel scared and helpless, when something so much more powerful and strong had you completely trapped.

He could feel the creature shaking madly beneath him, he could smell his fear. It felt wonderful, he let go of all of his fear and let it change into anger and vengeance.

Vengeance, he would finally have justice.

"Logan please its me!" the creature pleaded and stopped Logan in a mid punch.

"Please Logan listen to me, you're having a nightmare!"

The words didn't connect themselves in his mind. The creature was speaking gibberish. It's voice was scared, and pained but still soothing. But Logan didn't care, he didn't care about anything but attacking the creature over and over until he was sure that it had gone through the same pain he had.

He was about to assume his attack when two more arms caught him and started pulling him, with remarkable strength off of the creature.

"No!" he screamed in a beast's voice, "Let go of me! Leave me alone!"

"Logan chill out its us!" it responded.

Logan again ignored it and ducked under its grip with lightning speed. Before the second creature had time to react Logan gripped his arms and finger nails digging into its skin so it wouldn't escape.

It screamed in pain, that once again brought a sick joy to Logan. Logan growled at it and spit in its face. He released one hand and got ready to deliver another brutal punch when yet a third set of arms caught him and held him back.

He roared and tried to use his second arm to break free, but someone caught that as well. Before he knew it two of he creature were pinning him down to the floor.

Logan screamed manically, his power had been short lived and brutally snatched from he. He fought and struggled to regain it, ut those who had him were sturdy. He kicked and moved every single portion of his body that was free. His heart beating wildly. Just when he thought it was enough, just when he was releasing every single last drop of fight he had in him into breaking free, the third pair of arms bravely held down his legs and he was pinned.

Logan was now screaming madly. Sounds of anger and desperation were deafening everybody in the room. The creatures were shouting his name at the top of their lungs, but he was way beyond listening. Now in full adrenaline he pulled and struggled in the grips of all three creatures, but it was useless. Finally his body fell and he cried. No longer angry or scared, just frustrated. There was no escape to this newly found hell. Every inch of his body pounded in raw fear, and he was shaking from his mad sobs.

A light then invaded the once completely black scene. A light so bright it blinded him and made him slam his eyes shut and hide his face.

Finally when he found the courage to confront the world again he opened his eyes. To his horror, the apparent 'creatures' holding him down were Carlos, James and Kendall.

They were all looking at him, scared of him but at the same time worried for him. Logan had never seen them like this. They were all panting, but were holding steady. But that wasn't the worst.

Kendall was gushing red down his face. His hair was wet with sweat, and his eyes wild in fear and pain.

Logan let out a struggled gasp at his friend's condition. If any water was left in his body he would have sobbed. Instead he gave into his exhaustion and fainted.

* * *

The guys kept their grip on Logan until he fell limp in their arms, then with worried looks all around they released him. Kendall immediately fell back onto the floor in pain, holding his now broken nose.

"Kendall!" James cried, and ran over to his friend.

Mrs. Knight, who was still managing to get over the shock, stood by the light switch frozen. The sounds of a death match had woken at 4 in the morning. She had turned on the light switch to see the three guys holding down Logan as if he were a savage beast, which at that moment, he might as well had been.

"I-I'm fine." Kendall stuttered as Carlos and James worriedly crowded him.

"Why would Logan attack you?" James demanded, anger rising in his voice.

"He didn't mean it." Kendall said with clenched teeth "He didn't know it was me."

"What happened?" Mrs. Knight came over and knelt by her son.

"I don't know, I heard Logan screaming so I went over to help him. I guess he was having a nightmare, and when I tired to wake him up, he attacked me." he whimpered, his voice weak from pain.

His nose was throbbing, and blood kept pouring out. He couldn't speak too much else it would flow into his mouth. He could also feel his body still shaking like a leaf, slightly from pain and slightly from fear. However with everyone swooning them as worriedly as they were, he tried to hide as much of it as possible.

But his mother could see right through him, "Come on, we're going to the hospital,"she ordered helping him up.

"But what about Logan?" he asked gesturing to the still limp figure.

Mr. Knight frowned, it made her sick to leave him like his, but Kendall obviously needed medical attention.

"Carlos, James, take care of Logan. Settle him back on the couch, and try to calm him if he has another nightmare." James and Carlos nodded but fear highlighted their face. They had never seen Logan anywhere close to that aggressive in all he years they had known him, and even though both parties hated to admit it, he was pretty terrifying.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** Well there you go, a long chapter to make up for a short one. So if you are having any trouble thinking of what to write in a review, tell me how you liked the nightmare scene' or how you didn't like it, tell me how to improve, what you want to see next, heck tell me about your day! I don't care, but I love it when you review!


	6. Love's Call

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** Well I have to say its a sad day for Rushers everywhere. After four years the series finally came to an end, ans yes I was one of those fans who was watching it ever since the premiere date, so it felt good to have said I was there from beginning to end. But I'm glad it ended nicely, not like some other series I will mention at this time... So in honor of the ending I dedicate this highly unworthy chapter to the series, please enjoy my attempt at romance.

* * *

At that moment, all Logan could think of was Lord of the Flies.

Particularly that one scene where the wild savages, who were once well behaved prep school boys, realized that the carnivorous beast they killed that previous night was actually one of their own. He trying to help them of all things, he was only trying to reveal the shocking truth he had found on top of the mountain. So they had killed, they had viciously ripped him apart, and he was only trying to help.

It was like that.

_Well don't you feel special?_

Logan grimaced at the voice as he continued his inner sulking.

_Feel like you're on top of the world now don't you?_ it continued, _you've finally come out the stronger man_.

_What do you want?_ he growled.

_Touchy, still feel like an unstoppable psychopath?_

_Shut up!_

_You know I can't._

_Then go away._

_Why so you can continue this,_ it stopped, Logan felt the walls around him shake in fury, _It was Kendall!_

_I didn't know that!_

_You attacked Kendall, you hurt Kendall!_

_I didn't mean to!_

_Don't lie to me, I know what happened!_

For the first time Logan saw himself. He saw the past version walk up to him, invade into his personal space, he wasn't happy.

_You were out for blood, and we both know it! If Carlos and James weren't there you would have..._

_Stop it! Stop it!_ Logan shouted inwardly, his head hurt from all the rage that burned within, from all the utter hatred that he had for himself.

_You're the worst part of us, you know that? You consist of all the qualities I used to hate about myself!_

_Well you'll just have to deal with it because I'm all that's left._

_Me and the guys? They're going to hate us, you know that right? They're going to hate what a self absorbed, disturbed coward we've become!_

_Well what do you want me to do about it? We've changed! And there's no going back. _Logan could almost feel refreshed tears threatening to fall again.

The other voice was silent and Logan almost thought him gone when he started again, in a whisper, _Let them back in, they can help us. You need to let go of your fear._ With that it was gone, and Logan was left alone, in self loathing, and pity.

* * *

The apartment was quiet, like almost completely. The darkness of the room was slowly fading away with the rising sun. Really all that could be heard was the soft hum of the AC, but even that was low.

Carlos sat on the couch, careful not to disturb the serene quiet. Or the sleeper on his shoulder.

James had been the only one on that couch to get a proper night's sleep. Carlos hadn't managed to get more then a hour, and Logan was...frozen.

James who had been sleeping soundly with his head hanging off he couch, shifted to Carlos's shoulder to settle on his newly found pillow. He adjusted his body to lean against his friend, and now a pretty impressive glob of saliva was emitting from his mouth with its headed trajectory being Carlos's hand.

Super.

He was just trying to adjust his hand to be spared the drool, when Mrs. Knight and Kendall came into the apartment. They weren't loud, but they did interrupt the serenity of the place.

Carlos put his free finger up to his mouth to protect his sleeping friend, then grimaced as he got a better look at Kendall.

There was a stark white bandage completely covering the middle of his face. It stretched from ear to ear, and only the darkness of his nostrils could be made out. And it was slightly tainted by faint red spots. All around the edges of the bandage were highlights of purple skin. His eyes were red and had deep bags underneath him. All in all it looked very painful.

But Kendall wasn't complaining, he didn't even acknowledge it, instead he headed straight over to the couch where his friends resided.

"How is he?" Kendall asked sitting next to Logan.

It ended up being a rhetorical question. Even though he was just jumping around and screaming, he had returned to his previous condition. Actually, it was worse, instead of the blank face he had previously been wearing, he know looked scared and regretful. It was much worse.

"Kendall, what are we gonna do?" Carlos whimpered helplessly.

Kendall bite his lip. It wasn't bad enough that Logan was so sick, but everyone expected him to know the answer, like somehow he was he person to turn to in times like this.

He opened his mouth to tell Carlos the truth, but caught the glimpse of fear in his eyes and shut up, knowing that would crush him.

"Whatever we can." he whispered.

It wasn't that great an answer, but anything was better then 'I don't know'.

"I got it!" James shouted, making everyone jump.

"Got what?" Kendall asked annoyed.

"How we can fix Logan!"

Kendall and Carlos exchanged skeptical looks.

"How?"

"Whats the one thing Logan wants that his three best friends can't give him?"

Kendall raised his thick eyebrow, "A doctorate degree?"

"A tough reputation?" Carlos guessed.

James smiled, "Close, a kiss!"

Carlos and Kendall looked at him incredulously.

"James, what are you getting at?" Kendall asked nervously.

"Think about it! Whats the one thing every guy likes to do? Kiss girls! And we just so happen to have one Logan obsessed chick right down the hall!"

"Camille!" Carlos and Kendall cried in unison.

"So you're suggesting we call Camille and get her to make out with Logan till he speaks?" Carlos tried to clarify.

James's smile expanded from ear to ear and he nodded.

"That," Kendall declared, "is not that bad of an idea."

"Worth a try!" Carlos smiled.

"Great! I'll call her now!" James cried jumping up and hurrying to the phone.

* * *

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Camille hissed from the other line.

James bit his lip, he completely forgot it was nearly 6 in the morning.

He shook his head, "Listen Camille, we found Logan in the dumpster the other day and we think he was mugged, he was hit really hard on the head and..."

"Oh my god is he okay?!" Camille cried in the phone, totally forgetting her annoyance.

"No and we need you over here right now to..." he paused as the line went dead.

He only had time to give a glance of slight confusion to his waiting friends when frantic knocking came from their door.

Kendall nervously crept the door ajar, only to have Camille completely burst though it.

"Where is he?! Is he hurt?!" she cried.

The boys gestured over to the couch.

"Logan." she whimpered and went to grab his hands.

She knelled down in front of him and sincerely looked into his eyes, "Logan, I'm so sorry, are you hurt?" she asked in a voice that nearly melted the others.

There was still no response.

"Logan?" she asked, more quietly and frightened then the others had ever heard her.

She looked helplessly to the others.

"He hasn't spoken since we found him," Kendall explained softly.

"We were hoping you could...snap him out of it." James said stepping up.

"How were you expecting me to do that?" she asked slowly standing up to face them.

"Well..." James started.

"We were kind of hoping you could, you know," Carlos said making kissing gestures.

Camille gave them a disgusted look, "You think I can just kiss him and make him all better?"

"Well you are pretty good at it." James protested.

Kendall pushed him aside, "Camille, we weren't getting through to him, and" he lowered his voice and looked to the floor, "he loves you."

Camille's eyes widened and she shot a look to the still boy on the couch. She always loved the quiet persona he put on. He was someone who you couldn't get to know in the first couple of minutes of talking to him. You had to dig and work to finally reach his true self, and she had done that, and really loved it.

"I-I can try." she said quietly and knelled in front of him once again.

Gently she put two tender hands on his cheeks and turned his face to hers. She a lined her eyes with his. Then she saw it, shot terror that had fossilized itself in his face. If she didn't know better, he looked like he would just breakdown any second. She had never seen eyes so lost before.

His agony spread to her. It would be hard to see anyone like this, especially someone she loved.

"I can't do it," she said, voice breaking and heading to the door.

* * *

Logan had never been a fan of touch. His personal space was very valuable to him and he may have developed a slight case of claustrophobia. So he put up barriers in order to keep people from touching him. He'd usually shy away from hugs, nod at someone instead of shaking their hand, he was even uncomfortable when his own mother tried to show him affection. Camille obliterated those barriers.

She was kissing and slapping him almost before he knew her name. Normally she'd be the last girl he'd ever consider being with. However it was because she was so sporadic, so social, so completely insane, that he was attracted to her. Instead of asking to get something she wanted she just went for it. She never settled with no and she always got her way. He was scared and fascinated by her at the same time.

When she had burst through the door of the apartment, was the first time he really started to pay attention to what was going on outside of the walls. Her touch was warm and gentle, and really the only thing that he welcomed. In fact, he almost felt alive again. For the first time since that walk home for Rock Records he felt safe. He felt protected. He cherished when she squeezed his hand, and wanted to beg her for more. She reminded him of the past he left behind, and for the first time, he wanted it back.

But then she let go, and all the security and comfort she had brought left with her. She let go and started to leave.

For the first time Logan felt words forcing their way up his throat. He had to call her back, he couldn't loose all the things she brought him.

But the gun returned, it pressed itself once again onto his neck and suppressed his voice. All he could do was watch her, and all the happiness she brought him walk out that door. Returning him to the darkness, loneliness, and self hatred he was residing in.

He couldn't stand it, for the first time he realized just how awful it all was. To be driven mad by a mere memory. To be still, all the time, or be killed. To have fear be the only emotion he could feel.

It was enough to bring stinging tears back to his eyes.

Kendall noticed immediately, "Camille!" he called.

She looked back to see Logan with silent tears falling down his face. Nothing else moved, it was almost like someone had just poured water on a statue. She double checked, but the water was defiantly coming from his eyes. And he looked even more lost, and more miserable if possible.

"Logan!" she cried, it took everything not to breakdown in tears as well.

She ran over and cuddled besides him. She took his hands and squeezed as tight as she could.

"It's okay, everything's going to be okay." she kept whispering to him until the tears had stopped.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**- Well if you didn't think that was romantic I hope you at least found it touching. So please review, telling me how you liked the chapter, what you felt about the show and if you live it BIG TIME! (I couldn't resist!)


	7. Raised Stakes

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** Hello all! Man as I've been getting more and more into this archive, I have to say, you guys are good! These fics can get really touching and emotional! Geez, wish mine were that way, JK. Anyway I'd like to ask you a favor this time, whenever you read Kendall's dialogue try doing it in his voice. I do't know if any of you normally do that, its just I don't. So imagine his quick temper, and how he emphasizes on words such as 'we' and 'ourselves.' I think the dialogue would make a lot more sense. Other then that enjoy.

* * *

Camille stayed there with Logan for at least six more hours before she had to reluctantly force herself away for an audition. This time however, when she released his hand, he didn't even flinch. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before heading for the door.

Once there she looked back and sighed, "I could stay here longer," she said softly, "Probably won't get the part anyway."

The guys frowned at her newly lowered self esteem.

"No, go Camille, we'll take care of Logan." Carlos said kindly.

She looked back at the miserable boy, still frozen in terror. Leaving was the last thing she wanted to do, in fact the mere thought nearly brought tears to her eyes. And even if she did all she would think about was Logan.

"You can come over first thing tomorrow morning." Kendall suggested, forcing an upbeat tone in his voice.

Camille glared at him, "First thing after my audition." she corrected, then turned her attention back to Logan, "I promise it will only be a couple of hours." she said definitely and got the usual response.

She sighed and went out the door without another word.

The apartment was silent until Carlos whined, "I miss Logan."

James raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about, he's right there."

Carlos glared at him, "You know what I mean, I miss him always talking in big words and never being able to understand him."

"Or the way he spazes out whenever something crazy happens." James laughed.

"Or the way he corrects everyone on everything." Carlos said, voice suddenly raising with the humor.

But Kendall didn't join in. It was deeply disturbing that Carlos and James were talking about Logan as if he couldn't hear them, when he was really just a few feet away. But something told Kendall that he really couldn't.

Then Mrs. Knight quietly entered the room and hung the phone back onto the receiver. Kendall immediately noticed her before she spoke up. He also noticed the scared and sympathetic look in her eyes.

"Guys," she said softly, but still getting their attention, "I have some bad news."

* * *

Three pairs of eyes were now locked on her, each dreading what she had to say. Each one's ignorant thoughts of, _this couldn't get any worse_, fading away to something even more dreadful.

She couldn't blame them, she hated herself for what she was about to reveal.

"I called Logan's parents," she started, her voice barely above a whisper, "and they...want him to come home to Minnesota."

"What!?" James cried out first, "But what about the band?"

"What about Logan needing his friends?" Kendall spoke up.

"Mr and Mrs. Mitchell believe that coming back home will help Logan with his...condition, and their prepared to send him off to a place that deals with people like him." Mrs. Knight explained.

"People like him?" Carlos asked.

"You're making it sound like Logan's crazy, and his parents want to send him to an insane asylum!" Kendall yelled.

Mrs. Knight was silent. Getting the message, Carlos and James eyes widened and they were shocked silent, while Kendall ignited.

"Logan isn't crazy!" he exploded, "And sending him to an asylum will only makes things ten times worse!"

"I tried to tell them that but you know how Logan's parents are!" Mrs. Knight yelled back, a little hurt since she felt the blame being put on her, "They want the best for Logan, but they feel like they can't give them him help themselves!"

"Then he should stay here with us! We might not know how to help him either but at least we're willing to try!" Kendall cried back, still in rage, but desperation leaked in his voice.

Mrs. Knight sighed and calmed herself, "Kendall," she started softly, "Logan isn't eating or sleeping, we can't let this continue for much longer or..." she stopped when she saw the boys faces. How could thing go so wrong so fast?

"How long do we have?" Kendall asked, breaking the silence.

Mrs. Knight sighed, "His parents booked his flight for Friday."

"What? That's two days from now, how are we gonna fix him by then?" James started to complain.

Just when Mrs. Knight was about to answer there was a rude knocking on the door. She sighed and left the conversation to go answer it.

"Mr. Bitters?" she asked once doing so.

Mr. Bitters was standing rather impatiently in the hall with a clipboard in his hands.

"Hello," he said in one of his fake hospitality voices and gave her a sarcastic smile, "Could I ask for your participation in a complex wide survey about your experience in the Palm Woods?"

"Umm," she said glancing back to the mess she had temporarily abandoned, "Now's not really a good time..."

"Excellent, it will only take a few minutes." he said pushing her aside and making his way into the apartment.

"Whats this about Bitters?" Kendall asked annoyed.

"Yea we're kind of in the middle of something here." Carlos added.

Bitters hardly acknowledged them,"Question one, how has your room here at the Palm Woods suited you?" he asked.

"Well considering it was basically a overrated portapotty before we had to fix it up, I'd say terribly." James said sarcastically.

"Exceptionally? Why what a nice thing to say!" Bitters scribbled in his notebook, completely ignoring James,"Now how has the manager's hospitality been?"

"You mean that rat who sits behind the front desk was trying to be hospitable?" Kendall spat.

"Astonishingly warm and affectionate? You flatter me." Bitters said once again completely ignoring the boy as he scribbled away.

"Bitters, why are you here if you're just gonna fake a survey?" Katie asked.

Bitters glared to her, "I need your signatures." he said handing the clipboard to Mrs. Knight.

She glared to him, "You disgust me." she growled.

He returned the gesture, "Do it and I'll leave your apartment."

"We don't have time for this!" James cried and snatched the clipboard, furiously signing his name.

They passed it down to Kendall who signed his name and handed it to Bitters with a sarcastic smile of his own, "I hope you get fired."

Bitters glared at him,"Yea well I hope the press releases that one of the members of BTR is a lunatic!" he retorted.

James and Carlos quickly held Kendall back as he attempted to attack the smirking manager.

"Have a Palm Woods day." he said slyly and strutted out the door.

James and Carlos released Kendall and he went to slam the door behind him.

* * *

"Here comes the train, Logan, open your mouth to let him in." Carlos coaxed, it was awhile after Bitters left that Carlos decided to make chicken noodle soup and finally get Logan to start eating again. However it was obvious he wasn't doing very well.

He lifted the spoon of warm soup to his friend's mouth, hoping maybe the smell would remind him of how hungry he was. No results.

"Come on Logan, let the train in!" he whined.

"Would you cut it out?" Kendall snapped, he was already sick of everyone babying Logan.

"Dudes, what are we gonna do about the band, BTR is a foursome!" James cried out, "And the fans aren't gonna like us just ditching someone out of the blue!"

Carlos sighed putting the soup down and looking longingly at his silent friend. A rare wave of maturity hit him, "Maybe Logan's parents were right." he said softly but still caused James and Kendall's heads to snap towards him.

"I mean maybe we can't help him." he said sadly.

James looked down at his feet in seemingly agreement. Kendall just looked angry.

"No you're wrong Carlos." he declared in one of his speech voices, "Because we do not give up on each other, and we stick together no matter what."

He must have said this same speech over a hundred times over the course of their journey to fame. He was right, and Carlos and James knew it, but lately it was getting harder and harder to follow.

"But Kendall what are we gonna do? None of us have been able to get through to him!" James asked.

Kendall pondered this a minute, he had a point and they didn't have much time left, "Well Doc Hollywood said that Logan needed to feel safe and normal, so why don't we focus on that?" he suggested.

"Okay, but how do we make him feel that way, I mean we're already in the apartment, the safest and most normal place in Hollywood." Carlos pointed out.

"But that's the thing, Logan doesn't need to be in a _place_ that feels safe and normal, _he_ needs to feel safe and normal."

Carlos and James gave him confused looks.

Kendall sighed, "Look we're all here worrying and swooning him all the time, its probably stressing him out, and Logan's never been one for lots of attention."

"So what your saying is that we have to feel safe and normal to get through to Logan?" James tried to clarify.

"Basically, we need to be ourselves, so Logan can be himself again."

"But how can we do that?" Carlos asked, "Cause I don't know if you noticed but we're all pretty stressed."

"Exactly, but whats the one thing that puts us all at ease?"

James and Carols thought for a minute, then spoke up at the same time, "Hockey!" they cried.

Kendall nodded in agreement and they all split up for their gear.

* * *

Logan felt blank, which at this time was a good thing. Camille had managed to clear him of all feelings of fear and despair, however the comfort she brought him wore out as well. He was numb.

It didn't last.

_'Pretty interesting stuff going on outside_,' came the voice that he now hated.

Logan didn't respond.

_'The guys, you know the ones you were ignoring until you tried to kill them, yea they think you're crazy.'_

He felt his heart sting in pain, but refused to show it.

Past Logan, obviously not appreciating being ignored raised his voice, '_They're going to send you away, to an asylum, you know where crazy people go!'_

Logan closed his eyes and breathed deeply,_ 'Good, then they'll finally forget about me.'_

_'You really don't get it, do you?'_ the voice asked astonished.

_'Whats not to get? You're gone and I'm garbage, they're better off without me!'_

_'But you're not even trying! Their working their butts off to help you and all you do is sit there like the coward you are!'_

_'I can't!'_ Logan screamed, tears bursting out of his eyes, _'Every time I move, or try to talk I feel the gun on my neck! I can't do anything I...'_ he tried to control his cries '_I'm too scared._'

Past Logan, shocked temporarily by the sudden out cry, slowly responded, _'We're going to loose them. They may seem determined now, but they are eventually going to give up on us. And you wanna know why?'_ he asked.

Logan was crying too hard to answer.

He continued anyway, _'Because you already gave up on yourself.'_

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** That's all for now, hope you found them in character and please review! It encourages me to faster updates!


	8. Normal

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** Getting down to the grind in this chapter!

* * *

James swiped his stick and flung the puck into the goal for he perfect score, making it five to zero.

But he didn't celebrate.

He turned around to face a discouraged looking Kendall, who had long since given up and was since merely walking after James. His teammate Carlos didn't look much happier and responded with his sad eyes. Finally Logan just stood still where they had left him at the beginning of the game. Not surprisingly he didn't move a muscle.

"So uh, whats the score?" James asked solemnly.

"I lost count." Carlos muttered.

Kendall threw down his hockey stick, "You guys win," he snapped.

Both boys flinched at his tone. Usually they'd blame his temper on the loss, which was something Kendall never took very well, even in mock games such as this, however this time it was pretty obvious what was really upsetting him.

They were all so sure of it, at the beginning. They were all convinced everything would go back to normal if they just pretended that it was. With that encouragement the guys spent two hours setting to the perfect indoor hockey field in the Palm Woods lobby. They used two of the finest palm woods chars as goals, and vandalized the floor with chalk with the appropriate markings. They even managed to break a few windows at the beginning of the game when they were excited and had a lot of energy to release.

But now they were spent, the perfect hockey game did nothing to help Logan, and frustrated, overwhelmingly frustrated.

Especially Kendall. As much as he hated to admit it, he was tired of it. He was tired of being ignored by Logan. And quite frankly he no longer saw his friend as sick. He looked fine for crying out loud, whatever the creeps did to him did not leave lasting physical effects. Why couldn't he just man up and get over himself? Or was he faking it? Was this just an act to get attention?

Those questions coursed through Kendall's mind like a disease, disgusting his own self in the process. On the other hand, what if Logan really was hurting? What if he was going through something really traumatic and needed his friends? What if they just weren't trying hard enough?

He resisted the urge to scream. He had to find away to keep his frustration inside, Carlos and James weren't freaking out, they were just concerned. However they didn't have to come up with a plan to fix this. No that was Kendall, it was always Kendall.

He wished he could admit he was as lost as they were, he wished he could back down and let someone else come up with the brilliant plan for once. He wished he wasn't such a loser and could do something to get through to Logan, he was his best friend for crying out loud.

Most of all however, he wished Logan would just give in a little, he didn't even have to talk, just move, do something to indicate that things were at least getting better.

He bit his lip, but Logan wasn't, he wasn't moving he wasn't improving and by this time in two days he'd be in a mental hospital. A place that while trying to help him, will make everything ten times worse.

"Kendall?" Carlos's soft voice came, interrupting his thoughts, "Do we have any other ideas?"

He frowned at his friend's silence.

James, immediately recognizing what that meant whined, "No we can't give up, we promised we'd help him!" fear and desperation leaked from his voice.

However that tone was starting to irk Kendall to no end, especially since it seemed to always be directed at him, "I'm not giving up!" he snapped, then looking at his friend's hurt face continued softly, "Just thinking."

"What in the hell did you hooligans do!?" Came a livid Bitters who face was literally red in anger.

"How am I supposed to fake a completely perfect inspection when four hockey obsessed cavemen are destroying my lobby!?" he raged.

Even though Bitter's was the last care on his mind, Carlos could't help but flinch was there was a bit of spit in the guy's mouth, he couldn't help but think of rapid rottweiler while the hotel manager screamed.

"That's it!" Kendall cried snapping his fingers.

Everyone, including Bitters gave him a dumbfounded look.

"Gustavo! If anyone can snap a person out of a trance, he's the one to do it!"

"Gustavo?" James questioned, "You mean the guy who yells for living?"

"Yea, he's not exactly the guy someone goes to for...compassion." Carlos pointed out.

"But that's just it, maybe we we're taking this all wrong, maybe Logan doesn't need to be babied out of this, but yelled at instead. I mean maybe Gustavo can yell just loud enough to get through to him."

James and Carlos shared skeptical looks, afraid to send their hurting friends right into the belly of the beast.

Kendall recognized their uncertainty, and sympathized, but he was desperate, "Guys we don't have a lot of options or a lot of time, and it really wouldn't hurt to try, especially if it would help him."

Carlos and James sighed in digression, as usual Kendall was right.

Kendall gave them a small smile, "I'll call Gustavo and we'll go in first thing tomorrow morning."

* * *

Gustavo was shocked to get that phone call from Kendall, angry but mostly shocked. However he made sure to hide it in his anger.

He yelled at him for making up excuses but was really just hurt this was how he had found out. Why didn't he even get a call the night Logan was mugged? What if he was hurt?

However he'd never let the dogs see his concern, he'd loose their respect that way. He'd been down that road before, when the band is no longer just business, but family, it makes everything so much harder, especially when they out grow you.

Which is why he didn't protest when Kendall had lied to him that they were ready for a recording session. He'd been with Kendall long enough to tell instantly when he was lying. And Kendall was hardly trying this time, he could detect the worry his voice, there must of been something really wrong with Logan.

However there must have been a reason that he wanted to get back to the studio, Kendall wasn't the one to overexert his friends, at least he could count on that.

Nothing, not even the tone of Kendall's voice, could have prepared him for the disaster that had walked in the following morning.

The dogs, usually hyped up, unfocused, but generally unbearable happy, sulked into the studio. Gustavo frowned immediately at their attitude. They looked like they hadn't had a good night's sleep in days, and fear seemed o be the only emotion they felt in a long time. Their eyes were red with bags under them, their voices were soft and full of apathy. Even James who loved this more then anything looked like he'd rather stick nails in his eyes then be here.

But Logan was by far the worst. His person made the manager's heart crumble on sight. He was so lost and looked the most scared out of them all. And not just concern from his friend scared, he was concerned for is life. His skin was deathly pale, his eyes were bloodshot, and everything about him was a rugged mess. It looked like they had just pulled him out of a gang fight.

It was everything he could do to hide his concern and order them into the studio as best he could. Three of them compiled with ease, bu Logan hadn't even noticed anyone had spoke.

Kendall gently dragged his friend into the recording room and softly spoke into his ear. Then looked up at Gustavo and nodded that they were ready to start.

Gustavo frowned, he was definitely not expecting anything he could actually put on the album today. And he was smart enough to know yelling at them won't make things any better, why did they show up today?

He started the music and waited.

Carlos and James attempted to fay their normal voices, but concern and exhaustion depleted their covers almost immediately. And Logan missed his cue, hardly to anyone's surprise and stayed quiet.

Kendall bit his lip and gave a hopeful look to Gustavo, praying his crazy plan wouldn't make things any worse.

Hesitant Gustavo pressed the speaker button and leaned in. The three boys tensed and prepared for his tantrum, but it never came.

"Logan, you missed your cue, try to pay more attention next time."

To be quite honest, if his trance hadn't been so severe, Logan would have been shocked right then. Never in all his time here did he make a mistake in the recording studio and not get yelled at by Gustavo.

The others here were shocked also. The one time they needed Gustavo to be his cruel, impatient self, he was patient and understanding. Kendall bit is lip and looked down to the floor, don't worry, he thought to himself, Gustavo's not known for his patience, when Logan keeps getting it wrong, he'll yell at him eventually.

Never happened. The boys attempted their song for two hours with no participation from Logan, but Gustavo hadn't yelled once, he didn't even raise his voice.

Finally he said softly into the speaker, "Carlos, James and Kendall may I please speak to out in the sound booth."

The three shared a hopeless look and proceeded. It was in no way a subtle way to talk bout Logan behind his back, but it hardly mattered, Logan didn't even look affected.

"Why did you come in today?" Gustavo asked after they shut the door behind them.

"Yeah, he looks really sick, maybe he should just get some sleep." Kelly added, "You guys too by the way."

"Kelly we can't." Carlos explained, "Ever since we found Logan he hasn't spoken or moved at all."

Gustavo raised an eyebrow, "And how was bringing him here supposed to help that?"

James spoke up, "Well we thought if we pretended like everything was okay we could get through to Logan."

"And if anyone could scream loud enough to reach him, it'd be you." Kendall confessed softly.

The manager was shocked silent by this. They minus well had shot him. Did they honestly believe he would scold them if they were so broken. Maybe he played the uncaring all business persona too well. He may have always been harsh on them, but he was no monster.

However hurt was not a feeling Gustavo experienced for long. Anger and stress took over, the two emotions he'd ever let show. Soon he was yelling at them for having such a stupid idea and wasting his time.

But this wasn't like one of his normal vents, usually his anger for them stemmed from he stress to help them, this time he was hurt, and was acting like any wounded animal would to its predators.

It was one of the very few times Gustavo actually scared them with his rage. His yelling was something they had grown accustom to working with him for so long. But this time something was lingering in his voice, and he did seem genuinely angry at them.

When Gustavo finished he was silent. They were all silent, there was no back talk like they usually did, not even from Kendall. In fact he did something he had never done before.

"I'm sorry Gustavo" he muttered. "It was a dumb idea."

With that he headed out of the studio, with the others dragging Logan along with them.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** Was that short? Sure hope not! Remember to review and any beta one may have id always welcome!


	9. Lost Hope

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **HELLO READERS! Sorry if there may have been a delay in updating, I took my first vacation of the summer, woot. Anyways I sincerely hope you enjoy this, we're going to be wrapping up pretty soon. Btw in case you care, this is the longest chapter so far, so at least I have that personal gold star.

* * *

Logan felt the presence of his previous persona approach him deeply in his mind. He bit his lip, every time they spoke he just felt so much pain and hatred for himself.

'_What else do you want?_' he roared, asking the now silent ghost, '_We both know you're right, we both know that every horrible thing you've said about me is true, you've broken me over and over again, what else can you do to hurt me?'_ his voice outlined in pain that now was tattooed within it.

Past Logan was silent, and he immediately knew something was wrong. It was never silent.

Instead of approaching him, the past persona just stood still and solemn. Not an expression to be found on its blank face. Logan studied it closely, anticipating it to make one last grueling attack that would finish them both off for good.

But that never happened, instead an all to familiar figure approached it, with a gun.

Logan's eyes widened and he jumped up to the figure in a heartbeat.

_'No please don't..'_ he didn't even have time to finish his plea before the man fired and Logan of the past fell dead and disappeared.

Logan just barely reached the place his past persona fell before it disappeared. _'Don't leave me.'_ he begged, more helpless then he'd ever felt.

But still it faded and then vanished from his thoughts for good, never to resurface again.

Logan didn't cry, there was no more energy left for tears. He was not broken, he was destroyed. He could feel everything about him, every ounce of self respect, confidence, bravery disappear along with his past self, even the emotion needed to feel pain.

All that was left was fear. That one thing that ruined him from the inside out. That almost got him killed, got him trapped inside his own regret was now all that was left.

Logan cuddled himself, alone and scared, unreachable.

* * *

The three boys entered the Palm Woods as if they were just returning from a funeral of a loved one, dragging the fourth behind them.

James plopped on the nearest couch and hid his face in his hands. Carlos settled Logan and himself next to James and started rubbing his frozen friend's back in a deep sympathy.

Kendall crossed his arms and just observed the pathetic scene. Pathetic, now there was a word. Their attempts to reach out to Logan, how they tried to take care of him, what kind of friends they were, it was all pathetic.

He bit his lip, he couldn't remember a time in his life when he was more frustrated then now. He was so angry at himself, the guys, even Logan. He was angry at everyone and everything. And he was frustrated, what did they do to possibly deserve this. Logan was going away, tomorrow. He was going to a mental hospital because his sad excuses for friends couldn't find a way to make him talk.

Kendall now clenched his fists, it were these thoughts that made him want to destroy the next thing he saw moving.

"Well maybe we could convince Logan's parents to admit him in a mental hospital near Hollywood, then we could visit." Carlos said in the most pitiful voice he'd ever summoned.

"Why would we do that?" James snapped, clearly overwhelmed with frustration as well, "When the press finds out that one of the band is in a mental hospital we're done, and we'll be back in Minnesota not long after Logan."

Carlos shut up and silently considered the truth he hadn't yet imagined. After some consideration he spoke up again, "Well maybe..."

"No! No maybe! We failed Carlos, don't you get that? We failed Logan, and the band, and the fans!" James raged, finally letting out the frustration that was boiling through his core "And there's nothing we can do to change that because we're too lame to fix any of it and..."

"SHUT UP!" Kendall screamed at the top of his lungs. His demand echoed through the lobby and nearly deafened his friends. They did so instantly and looked to him.

His face nearly red, but eyes fired with all the determination he could muster, "We promised Logan and ourselves that we wouldn't give up, that we would do anything it took to help him." he said, voice dripping with stubborn sternness.

"But Kendall we tried everything and he's leaving tomorrow..." Carlos attempted to reason.

"No! Not everything, Logan still acts like he's in a coma, so we obviously haven't found the way to fix him yet."

"But Kendall what if there is no way to fix him?" James persisted.

"No, no there is. Because he's not dead and he's not hurt, he's just sitting there." he said gesturing to him, "And if anyone's gonna find the way to fix him, its his three best friends, not doctors in a mental hospital."

"Then what can we do to get through to him by tomorrow?" Carlos asked.

"Anything, anything and everything we can possibly think of, and if we can't do it by tomorrow then we'll fight. We'll convince Logan's parents that if they take him away they'll make everything worse, we'll do everything we can to keep him here and with friends." Kendall vowed in one of his most passionate speeches.

James and Carlos couldn't help but share a small smile, even in the darkest hour Kendall could still keep such hope and determination.

"Then we're with you man, through whatever it takes." James said putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Carlos nodded in stoic agreement. Kendall smiled at them and somehow the confidence came rushing back. No one, especially Logan could stay frozen when he had friends like this. Then his eyes widened.

"I got it." he declared, in an even voice.

Carlos and James perked up and listened intently.

This time it would work, it had to.

* * *

As usual Kendall's plan was nothing short of brilliant. Using the cover as a Going Away party, he invited every friend and a quaintness, they had at the Palm Woods for one big sleep over in the Palm Woods lobby. Maybe with the combined encouragement of the whole Palm Woods hey'd be able to finally reach him.

The turn out was incredible. Almost everyone they ever spoken to at the Palm Woods showed up, even friends of friends were invited. Somehow the guests gathered from the desperate invitations they received that there was more to this then it seemed. And somehow all felt the need to go.

At around 8, the time Bitters left to type up his final evaluation form, the lobby filled with people. The couches and early every spot on the floor were covered with lively faces and the room filled with happy conversations. If they din't know any better this would be another wild party the guys were famous for throwing.

Logan, the guest of honor, was settled on the couch, squished between James, Carlos and Camille. A couple of guests approached him to wish him good byes and good lucks, but were rudely pushed aside by his silence.

The whole time Camille found herself gently stroking his shoulder and whispering to him the most loving encouragement she could think of.

About half an hour in, when everybody seemed to have arrived and get settled, Kendall got up and gathered all attention on himself.

"Alright, I'd just like to start by thanking everyone for coming, I'm sure Logan really appreciates all this support, "he said gesturing to said teen. "Buddy," he said now addressing him, "I'd just like you to look around and see how many people love you enough to see you off." he smiled at him, but it quickly faded with Logan's non existent repose.

All eyes focused on him but he still didn't move an inch. Kendall ran out of things to say and froze when all eyes turned back to him. He was just about to muster up something of an excuse for Logan when the door opened and the last two guests arrived.

Gustavo and Kelly.

Kendall couldn't help but stare wide eyed at them as they made their way through the crowd. He had invited the grumpy producer just out politeness, after they had left him fuming he'd never think he'd even want to see him again.

One teen quickly gave up their seat to the hulking man, and Gustavo proceeded to sit quietly.

If Kendall was at a loss for word before he was completely speechless now. Luckily James came to his rescue.

"So as a departing gift for our best friend, we've prepared to sing him his favorite songs from our playlists." he explained. "Guitar dude." he asked.

Said guitarist strummed his instrument and began playing the notes of _'This is our Someday'_

* * *

The three boys sang until their voices were raw and their throats were red and throbbing. They could just barely wheeze out the final notes of their last song before Kendall finally relieved them.

"Well I think we should call it a night." he said softly.

Being trained for this professionally they had manged to go on for quiet awhile, almost five hours. In that time most of the guests had fallen asleep. Those few who had kept up clapped after they finished their desperately long set.

Instead of being relieved that their never ending concert was finally over, Carlos and James responded with the most disappointed face they'd ever worn.

None of them spoke, none of them could. Their throats that had just been throbbing from overuse were now chocked with sorrow. Logan was still motionless, silent, unreachable.

Kendall couldn't force himself to look at his friend anymore. He tore his stare and focused desperately on the floor, the only thing that would ever see such a helplessness wavering in his emerald eyes.

He knew he hadn't fooled anyone when he declared that they would fight until the end. This was the end. This was the last hope, if this wouldn't help their friend nothing would. And now they, they were going to loose him.

The thought just made him grit his teeth, squint his eyes shut and clench his fists. They were going to loose Logan. The unspoken consequence of this whole ordeal. They could never stand seeing him in a mental hospital with all the outcasts of society. Even then, what would they be seeing? The rotting shell of a man that used to be their friend.

But maybe the whole thing was hopeless from the start. Maybe Logan had just been a corpse the whole time and they had been too ignorant, too stubborn to realize it. James could have been right, there may have never even been a cure in the first place.

Kendall recalled what he had said previously, how that there had to be a cure and that they were the only ones who could find it, otherwise why call themselves best friends? But he was starting to have second thoughts. They weren't lousy friends, they had done everything, everything, they thought could help Logan. If some blessed source could only tell them what to do to snap him out of it, they would do it. No matter what, without hesitation they'd do anything to help him. And in the end, was that all they could offer? Unlimited support, and a willingness to do anything to help their friend.

Kendall brightened a little with that thought. At least they could always remember that.

It was that one thought that prevented him from crumbling down into a pitiful ball of self pity as he had previously desired. Instead he bravely looked up, took one of the small remaining spots on the couch and attempted to get a couple hours rest.

Reluctantly Carlos and James followed his example. Their exhaustion hadn't quite matched with their despair, but it sure was a close second.

All three were asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

The whole lobby was silent as a graveyard. Minus the brief sounds of grunts and movements of the sleepers. All in the room had fallen victim to exhaustion, except two.

Logan of course being one. Ever since the nightmare he had refused to close his eyes and surcome to sleep. And with all the turmoil in his transfixed mind he had completely blocked out the protests of his body for being denied its basic needs.

He focused on the sleepers because if he were to go back into his mind, he'd surely break, being that there was nothing in there to help him anymore. As if he were looking desperately through the glass walls, at a place that would never accept him, and refusing to look back at the place that had broken him.

Gustavo, being the only other soul with open eyes had been studying him for hours. He'd ignored all other outside distractions and had been transfixed on the boy. He recognized the symptoms. He had known this disease before.

Carlos, long since fallen asleep, had his body fall almost completely on top of James's lap, leaving a particularly large spot on the couch next to Logan. Taking a deep breath the producer silently stood up, not even a creak got out of the chair and placed himself next to the frozen youth.

Logan hardly noticed. The couch shifted slightly with the weight, but his focus was weakened by all the distractions of his lost mind.

Gustavo sat quietly next to him for a long time, not daring to disturb the peace. Until finally he whispered, in a voice much softer then anyone could imagine to come from the loud producer.

"You're probably gonna laugh at this, but I know what you're going through." Gustavo whispered, particularly mouthed to him.

When Logan didn't respond he continued, "When I was a little boy, nine years old, I witnessed my father beating my mother to death."

He took a deep breath, focused on the ground as the dreadful, and long since locked away memory rapidly resurfaced, bringing long suppressed emotions with it.

"He had been an alcoholic ever since he lost his job. One day he came home. God he was so drunk, could hardly walk in a straight line. I had never seen him so drunk, so I hid in the closet. He went up to my mother, who was cooking dinner in the kitchen and started to yell at her. He swore that she had been cheating on him, of course she denied this, but he was convinced. They yelled some more, though it was a regular thing in our house, then he started...started to hit her. I was in the kitchen closet, so I got a perfect view. He started out with his belt, then continued with the pot steaming on the stove." Gustavo paused, his mother's screams of pain echoing through his head.

"He hit her, over and over again, until she stopped screaming, and then he..." he took a deep breath clenching his fists until they were white, "Ended it. For a couple of minutes he called for me, he looked for me, to do the same thing. But he soon gave up and put a bullet through his head."

He shut his eyes tight and counted down a few seconds until he managed to once again push the memory of both his parents lying dead on the floor to the back of his mind.

"T-the police came the next day and asked me what happened, but I couldn't answer, I was too scared. I was still convinced that I was hiding in the closet with my father looking for me. And if I spoke..."

He paused again, "That's probably what you're feeling too, right? You're too scared to speak, you can't accept that its all behind you, because its too painful to just leave to the past. But you're wrong, you have the ability to let it go, in fact you have something that I didn't, people who love you." Gustavo could barely hear the last part come out of his mouth. He finally turned to face Logan, and a ghost of a smile came across his face.

Logan was staring at him with a sympathy he hadn't felt of so much for anyone, until this moment. He stared at the man, more broken then himself, with clouded eyes, he never could have known.

When he realized he was being stared back at he snapped back into his previous trance. Gustavo put his hand on Logan's knee softly, "Just think about it, okay?"

With that he got up and went back to his chair.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **Well say what you want about the ending, but because of my lovely computer and all of its charming glitches, I had to write it three times. The goal however was to explore a side of compassion in Gustavo, which I believe was always there, but really doesn't seem to be analyzed much in this archive. Anyway I just hope you didn't find him too OOC. As always review to your heart's content, whatever you want to say, I want to hear.


	10. Never Alone

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-**I'm going apologize now for the many grammar mistakes you may come by. The truth is that this story has a stern deadline, that is in a couple of days. Thankfully there's one chapter left, so I think I'll make it barely, and you can look for that any day now. But as an extra treat, well I hope you think its a treat, this is the longest chapter so far! And will probably be longest of the whole story. Hooray. Soon as always please enjoy!

* * *

Logan cautiously peered through the ridges of the closet door. Behind him was completely dark, all visibility was accounted from the light coming outside of the closet.

Slanted shadows masked his face as he tried to get as much of a clear view as he could from inside his isolated quarters.

A woman, tall, but aged with stressed monotonously stirred a pot of soup on the stove. He could only see her back, but he could tell that her whole body was tense with fear and anticipation. he didn't know this woman, but somehow she brought a sense of comfort and safety to him. In fact he think he may have loved her. After all, all the care he could remember receiving came from her.

The door slammed open. Both Logan and the woman felt a cold dread crawl up their spine. Logan could feel his stomach hope into his mouth, and a sudden dryness invaded his throat.

Then there was the sound of stomping feet and all of a sudden he was in a horror movie. He was the helpless victim hiding hopeless from the satanic monster out for his blood.

Logan found himself cowering deeper and deeper into the closet. This wasn't a horror movie, this was real. He knew it wouldn't cut to the credits if the monster found him hiding in the closet.

The woman, however had no place to hide. Her body was ridged with fear, but still she did not back down. She stole a glance to the closet right before the monster entered the room.

Logan saw into her eyes. Whatever was in that closet, she was protective of, in fact she would sacrifice her life for its safety. Logan briefly found himself wondering what was so important.

Logan and the woman both jumped when the monster entered the room. Suddenly light abandoned the scene, and Logan could only make out a shadowed silhouette of the figure, as well as the woman's.

The creature emitted a deep, low growl toward the woman. Something was in his hand, a bottle? And Logan could just barely make out a tiny trail of liquid dropping from the corners of his mouth.

The woman was silent, and the creature growled again, this time louder and more assertive.

The woman, tensing ever so slightly held her ground and responded to the monster, however to softly for Logan to make to out her words.

The monster however heard her loud and clear and roared at her. A deafening roar that immediately had Logan's hand up protectively against is ears.

The creature snarled and hollowed until it seemed his lungs were dry.

The woman was brave. Not backing down she went to face the creature and started yelling right back, but it was gibberish to Logan's contorted ears.

The two went on, both their voices growing louder and louder, which Logan couldn't even imagine from the monster. Soon their voices were infiltrating and overflowing his closet. It sounded like hundreds of cannons were firing all around him. The sound vibrated through his very skull and no matter how desperately he tried to block it out, it pursued, scarring his ears forever.

When it finally seemed as though there would be no winner the monster pulled something out. Something that strongly resembled a whip.

He brought it up above his head and stared down at the woman, mercilessly. She barely had time to let out a scared gasp before he brought it down on her, hard.

She screamed in agony and instantly fell to the floor. Her screams scarred Logan even more to the previous yelling. The ratchet sound made a terrible shiver rock his body, and his ears were sore. It was like listening to someone scratch a chalkboard for hours.

The creature, however seemed devilishly satisfied with the sound. In fact it even laughed as it repeated its actions, over and over again.

Logan again could feel himself frozen. He wanted to look away, he wanted to block out the noise and protect himself. But he couldn't, his eyes were locked to watching the scene, his body was too terrified to move, in fact he could hardly feel it.

He watched the woman, tears slowly surfacing in his eyes. The gruesome scene was shadowed, by a blessed grace, but the violence of it got to him just the same.

The woman, a helpless form on the floor, at first jumped and twitch every time the whip was brought down on her, she tried to move, to somehow save herself, but the whip was too fast, and every time she moved the whip came harder and harder.

Logan eventually lost track of how many times she was struck. At every strike blood splattered to the walls, and she emitted a desperate wail of pain. However as this kept going on, for what Logan swore was hours and hours, her screams grew softer, and weaker. Her body barely flinched as the whip continuously was brought down upon her.

The monster didn't light up on her weakened state. In fact it just seemed to anger him. He brought it down even harder upon her, and faster. Logan could tell he was using all the massive strength he could muscle to bring her pain. It worked, for while, her screams returned and her body reacted to the increased pain it was put through.

The monster kept up this remarkable bit of strength for quite some time. Hitting her harder and harder every time her screams softened. Blood, more blood then Logan knew was even in the human body was spread, the scrams may have light up, but the blood never did. In fact it increased with every strike.

Eventually the woman's screams silenced and then stopped all together. This of course angered the monster more then anything and he blastically began striking her somehow faster and harder the Logan had ever seen.

It was no use though, all he got were flinches in pain. Finally, finally after hours of beating, and nearly painting the kitchen walls and floor with blood, he ceased.

The woman's figure now deathly still, flinched. Logan could still not take his eyes off of her. He could feel mad tears cascading down his cheeks in heartfelt sympathy.

This would have deeply disturbed him even if it was a stranger, but she, she was someone he felt like he loved. In fact at this moment he couldn't think of one other thing that he loved besides her.

The light once again resurfaced itself, and Logan could make out some parts of the woman, mainly her face.

It was contorted in pain and agony, but no sadness or fear. Logan had to study her deeply, but he could make out no trances of panic or desperation. Instead he incredibly found determination.

She stared back at him, hard, with eyes that declared they would fight until the end, no matter what the pain. This made even more tears come to Logan and he felt his heart being shred into two. He'd rather see her broken spirit being put out of its misery, instead of the stubborn one that would only receive more pain.

To Logan's horror the monster seemed to notice the woman's enduring spirit. In rage he screamed to the roof and screamed to her. Logan could finally make out what he was saying.

"Beg for mercy." he demanded.

The woman, barley holding to life summoned all of the strength that was leaking out of her, "Never." she gasped, between her pained gasped.

Logan wished she hadn't had said that. He wished either she was as cowardly as him, or he was as brave as her.

The creature, frustrated and in raged, boiled over and screamed, loud enough to shake the entire house and Logan from the inside out.

Then out of he corner of his eyes he noticed the soup on the stove, now boiling over. He grasped it firmly then poured t over the woman.

Her scream was in deeper agony then any before. Like she was being dipped into acid, which she basically could have been. It erupted from the pit of her bloodied body and was the last thing she sounded to the world.

Then the monster brought the steaming hot pot over her and started to beat her once again.

It wasn't for hours this time. It only took twenty strikes before she lied still forever. Her body no longer flinching in pain, her determined and spirited eyes, now dead and forever shut of to the world.

* * *

Logan was split into two, part of him still wanted to continue to cower in the closet as he had been, the other wanted to run out and hold the woman, to properly mourn the loss of his only loved one. The former urge was stronger.

The monster, now holding the pan cascading blood, stood panting for a few moments. Logan could almost feel him smile, with a repulsive satisfaction of his kill.

Then he caught his breath, and slowly turned to face the closet door. Logan's breath stiffened as his eyes met the red, mad ones of the creature. He felt like a rock coating climbing up his body and preventing any hope of movement. He didn't even tremble, which was odd because he was just doing such uncontrollably.

His eyes locked onto the creature's. Though he couldn't detect much emotion but he did recognize vengeance, for he knew it himself all too well.

"Come out, come out wherever you are." the monster growled, venom dripping out of his newly threatening voice.

The words came to Logan like a dagger. He felt his heart stop, then suddenly started beating in over drive.

The monster began his hunt. He scanned the kitchen first. Checked under the sink, table, in the cabinets. All places a scared little boy could hide himself. Then he once again set his eyes on the closet, and headed toward it.

Logan stopped breathing at once. He was determined to make himself as silent as possible, it was either that or be silenced forever like the woman. He even begged his heart to stop beating, for fear that the monster could hear its frantic pounding.

The monster gripped his hand on the door knob. Logan could feel the coat of rock he was covered with transform into ice. He didn't dare gasp, his voice hid deep in the pit of his stomach and refused to come out. The only thing that was really moving on him were the tears and sweat. They were both silent;imprinting trails onto his skin.

The monster however never turned the knob. Instead it stopped, stood ridged for a moment, then died. It collapsed onto the floor with its last breath let out in a pained gasp.

Logan's beating heart finally ceased, and for the moment it felt as though the whole world stood still. It felt like every single form of life was dead, all hopes were forever gone and forgotten, and all emotions were blank.

All that there was were tears, tears that were still falling but without reason.

As Logan studied the bleak scene in front of him, he heard a sniffle. He jumped towards the noise, knowing for a fact it didn't come from him and saw the form of a little boy.

He was trembling, tears were pouring down his face, but he didn't make a sound. All he could make out from the youth, that must have been years younger then him, was that he was scared. His skin was probably pale by now and his eyes forever scarred.

Logan had never felt such a sympathy for anything else then he did for then helpless creature right there. He didn't know the creature personally, but he knew what it was feeling. All of his innocence had been stolen from his in a heartbeat, and all those people he believed could protect him, were no longer there at all. And he was alone, completely, utterly alone.

Suddenly Logan felt the urge to protect the boy, stronger then anything he'd ever felt. The boy was all of a sudden a form of redemption, for he was unable to help the woman, maybe he could help this lost soul.

He tried to reach out his hand, he knew there was never going to be a way he could properly heal the boy, after what he saw, but he could at least he could comfort him.

Or so he thought. His arm was frozen, in fact he couldn't feel t at all. He suddenly realized he couldn't feel anything physical at all. His overwhelmed mental feelings had blocked him from sensing that sooner.

All of a sudden he was a ghost, being able to do nothing but spectate.

Red and blue flashing lights illuminated the darkness of the closet. From the shadows Logan could make out the depression and fear carved into the boy's face. That look, should never be found on a child.

Out of no where an arm broke into their silent sanctuary and ceased the boy. It yelped of shock, then was viciously pulled out. Logan cried out for it, but it was no use, he could't be heard.

Instead he heard voices, h couldn't hear heir exact words, but he felt the coldness of them. They were completely oblivious to the scene, and it almost felt like it never happened.

The voices turned into impatient barks and growls at the boy. Such sounds would have usually made him crumble down and cry. But this time, he stood still, with the pained look of fear still sketched onto his face.

The voices persisted, and Logan felt sick to his stomach. hadn't tis boy been though enough. He tried to go and comfort the boy's antagonists, stick up for him. But again he found himself useless.

Finally the voices wet quite in vain. The turned into soft sound, faking pity. Then the boy was dragged away, into the darkness ahead.

"No!" Logan screamed and lunged is whole body to aid the boy.

But he didn't fly forward, instead he felt a force, stronger then anything he'd ever felt, pull him in the opposite direction. For a fraction of a second he tried to fight it, transform his protectiveness of the boy into strength, but it was in vain.

The boy disappeared from his sights forever, and he was sucked back into his own personal hell. But this time it wasn't full of the feeling of fear, this time all he could feel was failure.

* * *

For a moment all around him was, and all he could feel was his wildly pounding heart.

Then he realized he was squinting his eyes shut. He opened them to find he was still sitting on the couch in the dead quite Palm Woods lobby.

He released his breath and studied the room. Everyone was still sound asleep, some snoring and stirring. Lying right next to him was Carlos, who fidgeted like he usually did fast asleep.

He remained on James's steady lap who was relatively a sound sleeper.

Logan's lips formed into a small smile, such action they had not done in days. And he gently moved his arm to rub Carlos's back softly.

The teen's body calmed and stilled and Carlos sunk into a deeper relaxation.

_He looks so peaceful,_ Logan thought to himself with a smile,_ I'll wait till morning._

* * *

Kendall woke up stiff. His body had to be contorted into a wildly uncomfortable position in order to fit among all the sleepers. For a moment his aching body and how painful stretching himself out was, was all he could think about.

Then he turned to Logan, and remembered.

Carlos and James came to life a few minutes later, along with some others sleepers in the lobby. Camille was one of them, and she gave Kendall a helpless look as soon as she did.

She knew it hadn't worked.

Kendall could only reply with a sad sign. He was about to go back to working on stretching his body out when the door flung open.

Tired, and well bitter, Mr. Bitters walked in. His eyes were red with bags undernneath, he smelled quite strongl and it looked like he had missed a couple of shaving sessions. But he was nontheless triumphant, in his hand was the 10000 worded evaluation he had finally completed.

All the pride and accomplishment leaked out of him as soon as he realizd what had become of his lobby.

"What the heck is going on here!?" he roared, snapping all the rest of the sleepers up instantly.

None of the boys felt the strenght or care to anwser him, so they remained silent as he continued to rant.

"I go home early one night, just to work ten hours typing up this darn evaluation form and this is what I have to come to work to!" he vented, clearly intended on going on for quite awhile.

Katie sighed, knowing the only way to shut him up, "You finished the evaluation?" she asked in sarcastic interest.

It worked like a charm, "Why yes I did." he smiled, almost forgoing his anger, "It took ten hours, and was so big I couldn't even save it onto my computer." he bragged proudly, ad placed his precious form on his desk.

"But it was worth it, with the money I make I can replace all the crap they expect me to work with, like the cheap cofee maker, this wobbly desk, " he continued patting the desk, "And this dam paper shredder that never shuts off." He explained gesturing to the shredder on the right edge of his desk.

Katie rolled her eyes as Bitters continued to go on and on about what he would do with his raise. In the meantime Guitar Dude took it upon himself to gather his precious instrument he'd left by Bitters desk.

However in doing some, he bumped into the desk, causing it's right legs to buckle down and send the form sliding perfecting into the shredder.

Bitters barely had the chance t gasp and try to grab it before it was torn into pieces. Although he was much too late and the malfunctioning machine happily ate ten hours of work.

Everyone was shocked silent, staring at both the shredder and the manager, whose face had contorted into one of disappointment and confusion. Then someone laughed.

It was one person, and it wasn't an obnoxious laugh either. But it was quite amused, like a belly laugh.

Kendall, Carlos, and James exchanged looks, it was a familiar laugh, but something they hadn't heard in a very long time. Slowly they dared to turn around, confirming what they thought it was.

"Now that was good!" Logan cried between his laughter, knelling over and nearly quite.

For a second everyone was quite. Then a giant smiled broke through Carlos's face and he hollowed a wildly happy cheer.

Before Logan could react Carlos tackled him into a tight embrace, laughing madly himself. This snapped all others out of silence and the whole lobby seemed to cheer, Kendall's and James's being the most prominent. They quickly joined Carlos and Logan, and soon Logan's three best friends were squeezing the life out of him. But he didn't mind, in fact he'd never been so happy.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Gustavo, giving him an approving small smile.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** Well he's finally out of it folks. Now all we have to do is put the cherry on top, ice the cake, or however you see it. I'm just going ahead now to say what a blast I had writing this, and how thankful I am that you put the time into reading it, especially if you reviewed. Speaking of which, please do, I can;t say it enough I love your opinions!


	11. Epilogue

**AUTHOR'S NOTE- **And by the skin of my teeth do I make the deadline, seriously I had like a hour to write this. Which is why I must do something I have never let myself do in all my time in being a writer, apologize for this chapter scaling Mt. Crap. I defiantly overestimated my time and the deadline sprang up on me. So I had a choice to make, write a crappy epilogue or none at all. And since I can't just leave a story without a rushed ending and a metaphor slapped in your face I decided the former. And hey to me it feels more complete. Now I know you all must be dying to read this now (sarcasm) but you've come this far, so why not finish it till the end. And its short so you can get lazy. But despite the rushed ending I truly enjoyed writing this. I found it very challenging, but in a good way, since I haven't done much of this kind of writing before, and I completely fell in love with this archive and am really excited to be returning to it again! So before the author's note becomes longer then the chapter please, enjoy!

* * *

It didn't take very long for Logan recall the whole story to them, well after he started talking again.

And once he did, he couldn't stop. He found all the emotions that were crowding his mind overflowing from his lips, it was quite embarrassing, but it also felt good

He hadn't meant to to blurt out all the details of the mugging when he told his friends and the police about it, but again he couldn't help it. As a result, Carlos was shaking like a leaf through the whole thing, James bit off all of his nails and must of pulled off several fistfuls of hair, and Kendall found himself sweating in buckets. Mrs. Knight asked Katie to leave the room at one point, to which she sternly refused, but almost wished she had. Mrs. Knight herself felt tears in the back of her eyes, how could she let this happen to one of the boys?

All in all, it upset them, the police were very pleased however, and Logan felt quite guilty about it, but at least they no longer thought he was crazy.

He also had to call his parents and talk them into letting him in Hollywood and out of a mental hospital. Of course it was the talking in itself that did the trick.

Logan had never heard his mom so hysterical on the phone. It brought him to tears as well, and he decided to spare her the details of what really happened, for now.

* * *

Eventually things did start calming down and finally to fall into a state of somewhat normality. And that was largely on Logan's part. With out denying his mugging never happened, he was truly convinced he was ready to move on. And as soon as his friends saw that, they were eager to move on with him.

They even declined Gustavo's on his offer for an extended two weeks off. It seemed to the four that things won't go quite back to being normal until they were back recording in the studio.

Logan was truly ready to put the whole thing behind him for good, but he knew there was one last thing he'd have to confront.

* * *

Exactly two weeks after Logan had taken that fateful walk home alone from the studio, the four boys cheerfully made their way back to it.

They had been singing and dancing for so long it ha d now become a part of them, similar to hockey. And whenever they went long periods of time without it, they felt miserable and lost. Right now getting in the studio to record was as much anticipated as getting on the skates to get on the rink.

Because of this they were nearly a block ahead of their newly assigned body guard, Freight Train. No matter how fast they walked it seemed like they would never get there.

"Hey lets cut through Gulliver's." Carlos suggested as they came upon it.

Then he shut his mouth. For a moment everything was so natural, he forgot the event ever even happened. He looked down to the floor to avoid the fear that snapped across his face, curing himself for being so insentitive.

"That's okay," Kendall quickly tried to recover for him, "We have plenty of tim eto get to Rock Records the long, i mean regular way." he smiled, keeping everything calm.

"No." Logan said softly, but the others heard it as a scream and stared at him perpelexed.

He looked at their concerned faces and sighed, "I mean, I can't avoid that place forever, and I feel like I have to walk it." he said, with an unusual bout of confidence and determination.

Kendall rested his hand on Logan's shoulder, "You're not gonna do it alone this time buddy," he smiled.

James and Carlos nodded in agreement, and Logan gave them all a grateful smile.

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath and slowly taking his first step into the shaded abyss.

The others followed closely behind him, but were sure not to pass him.

At first it was normal, like he was just taking a nice calm walk down the street, then he remembered. The shock, the desperation, and the fear. The walls around him grew darker but he kept trudging on.

He felt the gun once again press against his neck and felt shiver up his side, but kept walking. Even in broad daylight he could hardly see where he was stepping, so he walked slow and careful.

Then he remembered being alone, when all kind if hope, pride, and bravery he had left him. He remembered being trapped in his own fears and being so overwhelmed by them he was paralyzed.

He stopped in his tracks. That powerful emotion still was breathing down his neck. He felt his body start to freeze up, and he took a panicked glance back.

James, Carlos and Kendall, they were all right there, s they'd always been. They were smiling encouragement to him and softly urging him to keep going.

He was wrong, he wasn't alone, he never had been. He smiled back to them, and he had a feeling he never would be.

With a reborn stride of confidence he took his final steps out of the alley and into the gleaming, bright light of the day.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE-** And they all lived happily ever after! YAAAH day of cliches! And Woohoo we made it to the end! And from the bottom of my sappy heart I thank each and everyone of you for taking the time and reading my story! I hope you liked it, or at least appreciated the effort. Whichever I don't care! So I ask of you for the final time, please review, because as I have said before I love to hear what you have to say! And you know since none of us actually get paid for taking hours to write this stuff, a review is the closest thing we get!


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